A Letter For My Cousin Amy

Dear Cuzzy,

Seeing you, and spending time together this past Thursday, Friday and Saturday, while you are in the hospital was a great gift for us both. We have always been the closest of possible cousins, with many similiarties beginning with our passionate temperments, our love of lipstick, dogs, and forensics, and positive attitudes, and of course, the fact that we are both left handed. For today, I want to embrace these common bonds, those threads that hold us together, binding our souls into a one-ness of sorts.

You will always have a special place in my heart, which is where I keep you ever so strongly these days. I am here for you always, and know that these past few weeks have not been easy ones. Nevertheless, I while in Miami, I was able to see you smile, with your bright lipstick that adorned your lips, and we were able to talk from the heart, and remember all about love, loss, and life, and those avenues that have kept our relationship so special during our life-time.

May it be God's will that you not suffer, that each day be one that brings you close to peace of mind, absence of pain, and strength of the soul.

I love you, cuzzy....

Love and Friendship: With or Without Strings?

This past weekend, while going to visit my cousin, I stopped to think about the meaning of love.
How often do we, as people who love or even like someone do something for them without strings attached? For example, do we give with the expectation of getting something back for ourselves, or are our acts unconditional in any way, shape or form?

The reason I have asked these questions, is because I myself look at how I relate to people I love, and even those I like. There were times in my life when I felt as if I was giving something of myself, when the truth of the matter was that it was only with the expectation of some type of self-fulfilling or gratifying return. When we do something for another, are our acts truly selfless, or do we do them with ourselves in mind?

I suppose if the truth be told, I am guilty of both: that is to say, I give, at times, with the expectation of a return, whether it be material, physical or spiritual, and there are other times when I give, unconditionally, without strings. Even when I went to visit my cousin this past weekend, it was said, that my act of love and good deed would come back to me in some way. Is this really what I had in mind when I went on the trip? No, absolutely not, as when I look honestly at my motives, the goal was to do something kind and loving for her alone. Certainly, having something nice come one's way is a bonus, but not a necessity.

Here is the question of the day: Do you give with the expectation of receiving, conditionally, unconditionally? Is it really all about our motives that draws the line from holding some hostages to our hearts, or birds to our souls?

Thank you for your minds.

Do You Find Some Words Offensive?

Recovering from a busy week, and a trip to Miami, to visit my dear cousin, who is hospitalized, and see other family briefly, I have been absent from blogsville. The trip, which was short, was nevertheless quite emotional, with me seeing my beloved cousin, who appeared to be much weaker and thinner, and my adored aunt, who is 88, and told me she would probably not be seeing me anymore, it made me realize how life, whether we like how it happens or not, is filled with difficulties as well as blessings. Although it may often be difficult to be there in a time of need, it is necessary, mostly for the comfort of others, regardless of our own feelings and discomfort. That being said, it would be nice to have some peace and calm, even if for only a brief period of time.

While I was in Miami, I had a chance to go visit some family who are in the jewerly business. Many are from another generation, and some speak Yiddish, which I can understand a little bit. As they were speaking this colorful and delightful language, it made me think of words, their meaning and whether meaning is derived from use, or vice-versa.

For example, there are some words, when used, that I find offensive, on their face. The primary purpose of these words is neither descriptive nor with absolute meaning, but ultimately, they are mean and unkind. Among these words, for me, are crazy, nuts, fag, the n word, kike, dike, and nut-job. But while in Miami, I heard a word that was used by my grandparents frequently, which, to me, I did understand to be offensive, but completely neutral, and that is the word, goyim. As explained in the Torah and the Talmud, this word, which is used inside these texts, literally means other nations. It is completely netural. While at a jewerly store, buying something, I became engaged in a conversation with someone who is a Jew, and he said that his wife has a fit if this word is used. Although not a a Torah scholar, I explained to him what my understanding of this word is, and how it was not thought of to hurt nor offend others.

Are there some words that you find to be offensive, standing by themselves? Are they words that are meant to be mean, to hurt or to disparage others, or have they become so through their own meaning?

Thank you for your minds.

The Loss of A Pet: From a Jewish Perspective

Almost six weeks have passed since the loss of my beloved dog, Astro. To say that his death has left me in a shattered state, would be a complete understatement. For those who have a pet they love, it will come as no surprise that its passing can leave one confused, saddened, dispondent and deeply hurt. That being said, it is a truly wonderful experience to love and care for a pet, and often these four legged friends can teach even the strongest of us valuable lessons about living, loving, nuturing and sharing. Often our pets allow their owners to learn about love and how to give it to others around them.

Although Judaism does not address specifically the issue of care and concern for our pets, there are many commandments and prohibitions that concern the humane treatment of all living things. Since animals are a part of God's creation, there is an inherent responsibility to protect them, and avoid inflicting unnecessary cruelty and pain on them. For example, there is a Biblical prohibition against plowing with an ox and an ass together, the conclusion reached that since the ox is stronger, it would cause pain to the ass. (Deut., xxii, 10) Moreover, it is forbidden to slaughter an animal and its young on the same day. (Lev., xxii, 28). For me, one of the more important Biblical laws is the ones demanding that an animal struggling under too heavy a load have the burden removed. (Exodus., xxiii, 5.) One of my favorite stories involves that tale where God chastised Jonah for his lack of compassion for the residents of Ninevah, where there were more than six score thousand persons, and also many cattle. (Jonah., iv, 11.)

There are many more examples that can be cited, and surely those well versed in Torah can recite them with greater flare, interpretation and description than I have here for this post. Nevertheless, the point that I am making, and the one that has spoken in the loudest voice to me this day, is that according to our tradition, one must have a sympathetic response to the loss of a pet, since he/she is an entity who, having brought joy to the life of its owner, is deserving of loving care in death as it was in life.

The greiving process that has occurred for Astro has been an intense, and often painful one, leaving me with puddles of tears for each and every day since his passing. Just as the Torah respects life, it is also incombent for those of us to let go, and continue to experience the joy from life. In fact, it is forbidden to stay in a state of dispair, as it prevents one from experiencing the light of God.

So it is with this day, that the spiritual inner healing shall begin, the pain will be released, and diminished and in its place will be the beloved and joyful memories that I had the privledge and honor to share with my beloved Astro.

Thank you, my dearest boy, for giving me almost 13 years of unconditional and true love, joy and companionship. Your memory will burn brightly inside of my heart.

Do the Strong Always Survive?

Many people who know me, and there are a few who read this blog regularly, would characterize me as a strong woman. Tough as nails, able to resolve many issues that leave others in the dark, and someone who does not quit easily when confronted with difficulties. Please let us not forget that my work involves the representation of child abusers and molesters, and those who most of society turn their eyes and ears from when having to deal with these individuals. Also among my clients include the mentally ill, substance abusers and those who suffer from such harsh anger that they beat their spouses and children since they cannot manage their own lives. Yes, it takes one tough dame to resolve the problems of these types of individuals.

But what happens when the strength dissolves, like an alka seltzer tablet, from the strong? What can she do when there seem to be simply no answers nor just resolutions to her own problems and dilemmas? To whom can she turn for help, guidance, and most of all strength?

It has been said that God does not give us more problems than we can handle. Although this sounds good, and can comfort some, it is difficult for me to accept, since why would God want others to suffer so harshly? If it were truly the case, then why not make those who are strong weaker, at least for some time, so that they can be spared, even for awhile from those situations which become unbearable to take?

There is a fallacy in thinking that strong people always stay strong, and can manage their own lives, no matter what happens. Have you not ever heard someone with great strength claim that he/she wishes to dig a hole in the ground and be buried, or has come to the end of the rope?
Who is there to help the strong regain their strength?

Thank you for your minds.

The Full Moon

Last night, while going on my evening walk, I could not help but noticing the beautiful full moon.
In some ways, this powerful entity held me captive, as I watched its brightness sparkle, with overshadows of light gray penetrating the bright surface. For years, I have wondered what was on the other side of the moon, and have even wrote poetry on this subject, its mystery being so haunting.

When I see a full moon, I associate it with intensity of emotion. Usually, it denotes passion, fire, love and sensuality to me. I know others describe darker emotions when looking at it, and even conclude that something unpleasant my occur by its presence, hence, the proviso, "watch out, it is a full moon.

Here is the question of the day? What does the full moon mean to you? How, if at all does it affect your moods, emotions and conduct?

A note: I will be leaving next Wednesday to go to Miami to visit my cousin, who is ill. Meanwhile, keep on thinking....

Thank you for your minds.

Acceptance

"I have found some peace in the fact that ultimately, for some things, there are simply no answers."

BARBARAFROMCALIFORNIA
(for those who have inquired, this is my own quote coming from my own conclusions about life)

Sexual Repression

Many of you may be surprised that I am writing about the subject of sex. Although most of my posts tend to be provocative and stimulating, the mind, not the gentalia are the focus of interest. Nevertheless, over the past few days, while reading many blog posts, I have noted that expectations regarding sex may be either unfulfilled or unreal, depending upon who you are, how you grew, and where your knowledge of this subject surfaces.

To me, having a good sexual appetite ipso facto entails a man or woman who has a wonderful, provocative and stimulating imagination. It also means being considerate of one's partner and/or spouse, and having a willingness to be somewhat experimental and adventurous. Sexuality, in my opinion, has absolutely nothing to do with pornography, and involves an imagination more than visual stimulation, the later of which, in my experience, has been a subject matter more associated with those who entertain sexual inhibition and/or repression.

That being said, it seems to be the clearly the case that those men and women who complain about not having their needs met or appetites met, are those with the most sexual 'hang-ups,' and consequently those who are the lest willing to compromise ultimately. Just look at the blogs filled with sexual comments, questional pictures, or demanding remarks. Please draw your own conclusions, but to me, these individuals are more often than not the most repressed individuals.

That being said, how would you define sexual repression? Do you consider yourself to be a sexually repressed individual? If so, what if anything, can you do to become less repressed and more stimulating?

It is the case that I wanted to talk and learn about the Talmud, however, most of the posts, and bloggers seem much more desirous of speaking about other matters. For awhile, YY was discussing the Talmud with me, and then, he became busy. It is truly the case that the Talmud fascinates me.

It is Purim time! Happy Purim and Chag Semach.

Thank you for your minds. (and bodies)

Why Is Bush Unwilling to Admit Wrongdoing?

Many of you may have begun to see a growing trend in the Bush administration where people suddenly seem to lose interest in a business deal or position where there is political fire inside the Bush administration.

Take for example the nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court of Harriet Miers. Rather than withdraw her name as a candidate, Mr. Bush put the onus on her to say she was no longer interested in the position. The same exact type of resignation occurred with Brown, head of FEMA, once heads began to roll regarding responsibility of Katrina. Today, we see that the small country of Dubai is no longer interested in the once coveted ports deal here in the U.S. Does it not surprise you that Trent Lott resigned as well, and when there was an investigation into the spy ordeal, the second in command to Cheney (please bear with me, I forgot his name) also with no hesitation submitted his resignation.

Does anyone see a trend here where deals and people no longer show interest in something when under fire in the public domain? I thought Bush considered himself a devout Christian. Is he a man above asking for forgiveness? Is it easier for him to ask others to step aside rather than for him to admit blame? Why is this President unwilling to admit wrongdoing and accept blame?

Thank you for your minds.

Another Shabbath Without Astro

Friday nights are particularly difficult without Astro by my side at the dinner table for the
Shabbath meal. He would sit there patiently, as I lit the candles, and wait with this sparkling
look in his eyes looking intently as I cut him a piece of challah bread. Since he can no longer be with me in body, I will have him here in spirit as I light the candles tonight and think about him.
It is evident how much I loved this majestic creature, and what a special bond we developed.
I miss you so much, Astro, but you will always live on and occupy a special, loved and dear place inside my heart.

You are remembered each and every day, but on Fridays, especially, when thoughts of you are ever so special.

Thank you for your gift of love to me.

The Dumbing Down of America

Since I settled a rather complicated case today, and am home early, I thought it might be time for another provocative post.

While driving to court this morning, I heard a rather startling statistic: more Americans can name the judges for the television show, American Idol, than they can recite their rights protected by the First Amendment. When I first heard this statistic, I was not completely surprised, since it seems as if Americans are so much more oriented towards television shows these days than ever before. Gone are the days of the complex quiz programs, or those that would test an individual's knowledge (with the exception of Jeopardy). Instead, we have "reality television "now, which consists of singers competing for a spotlight, wife swapping, cosmetic surgeries, home improvements, fear factor, and the list goes on and on.

To me, it appears as if America is 'dumbing down.' What I mean by that is that less emphasis is placed on thinking and analysis (which you all know turns me on) then ever before. Although our colleges are filled with individuals, the majority of Americans seem to be less concerned with intelligence and basic knowledge. Instead, there is a lack of involvement and participation in life, and more Americans are accepting what they hear on television, without asking questions, than ever before.

Our President, who was elected to two terms, is now at a rock bottom low approval rating of 34 percent, with Cheney's at 14 percent. The American people elected this team, the dangerous duo, yet now are questioning his leadership. Are we wising up? Is America dumming down?

Is it truly the case that America is dumbing down? What if anything can be done to remedy this problem in our society?

On a side note, my favorite beloved cousin, Amy, in Miami, who has pancreatic cancer is back in the hospital. I am praying for her twice per day, and she carries a special place always inside of my heart.

As a second side note, you might want to see that now I can post pictures, and there is one below of my beloved dog, Astro.

Thank you for your minds.