Thoughts About 2006

As one can say about any year, truthfully, 2006 had its ups and downs. There were moments of great joy, and those of sadness. These conclusions, if you will, seem to be the nature of life for each and every one of us.

On a personal level, there were some glorious times: our trip to Israel, a life-changing experience, seeing our daughter graduate from college, our son find a job he loves, meeting new people, re-establishing relationships, having a job that I love, getting Argon, and the list goes on and on to be honest. And of course there are those sad moments, when my cousin Amy passed away, Astro died, my daughter became ill again, and the list goes on. The instability in the middle east remains an issue of great concern to me, as does the safety of Israel, its future, and the return of the 3 prisoners who were captured. The war in Iraq continues, with many lost of lives and billions of dollars spend. And the list goes on.

There is a book that I read a couple of years ago, that has had great meaning to me, especially during this year. It is Fateless by Imre Kertesz, which won the author, a Holocaust survivor, a Nobel Prize in 2002. In this book, the we see the holocaust threw the eyes of a young boy, who tries to make sense of life, and stay sane in an insane world, a place consumed by cruelty, brutality, pain and suffering. Ultimately, the boy finds color in the death camps, sees his beyond the surface of his captors, and paints them with characteristics that lie beneath the surface, as men with humanity. The great message of this amazing book is that in the end, it is our perception of a situation, which can feel like the worst of all possible hells, that ultimately keeps us from loosing our own minds.

May your eyes and hearts open wide for the coming year, no matter what is going on around you. May you see a kaleidoscope of colors instead of black and white, and may you be healthy and joyful as well.

Thank you for your minds.

Meet Argon

After much deliberation and discussion, I decided to get a puppy, another Golden Retriever. Of course, this dog does not replace my beloved Astro, and to be honest, his personality, so far, is completely different from Astro's goofy character. Knowing that he is not a replacement for my beloved Astro, but an addition to our home, I wanted to share his image with you.

Why Argon, one may ask? According to Wikkopedia, here is thes definition:

Argon (IPA: /ˈɑːgɒn/) is a chemical element designated by the symbol Ar. Argon has atomic number 18 and is the third element in group 18 of the periodic table (noble gases). Argon is present in the Earth's atmosphere at slightly less than 1%, making it the most common noble gas on Earth.

Unknown to me, but according to my dear friend, winterwheat, "It's only true neon gas when it's that bright orangey red; otherwise, it's argon filling tubes that have been coated inside by different elemental powders that, in contact with the argon, give the appearance of different colors. So if you see a blue "neon" sign, or a green or purple or yellow or white one, it's argon, not neon. So there you have it -- argon has the special gift of coaxing out others' true colors. Let's hope your Argon does the same. :-)"

It is interesting that Argon has the atomic number 18, which in Hebrew is Chai, and has some mystical qualities, maybe even entering into the mysterious realm of Kaballah. Be that as it may, according to Jewish tradition, I named the dog after Astro (hence, the reason for the name beginning with an A) and Argon seemed to be the most fitting.

And a special thank you for the positive message from winterwheat regarding the colorful possibilities of argon. May this indeed come to pass.....

Happy Holidays to one and all.

Thank you for your minds.

The Best and Worse of Blogs in 2006

Surely many of you, by this time of year are more than familiar with those writers and radio commentators who make up best and worse lists of the year. Often, they are categorized by subject, such as music, movies, dressed, plays, television shows, etc. What I will do here is name the best and worse qualities of those in blogsville (without naming names, since I think that this would be mean spirited and involve the use of an evil tongue, which, I personally find distasteful.

THE BEST OF THE BLOG WORLD:

(1) People who have expressed themselves wisely, being motivated by a kind heart and genuine offer to be good to others.

(2) Those who took time to think before writing their words, acknowledging the power of words, and using them wisely, and with integrity.

(3) Those indviduals who practiced the Commandment to Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself.

(4) Those who though through the consequence of their words before posting them, being mindful that words have such power to change, to enhance and at times, even destroy. In the words of the Torah, one who foresees the consequences of his/her actions.

(5) Those who shared information with others with a good inclination to keep those better informed and wise, exhibiting creativity and imagination in their posts and thoughts.

(6) Those with a sense of humor, those who were cheerful.

(7) Those who spoke about subjects where they found good in a situation rather than bad, being positive people.

(8) Those whose words often resulted in good deeds.

(9) Those who did not feel superior to others, knew the meaning of humility and what it meant to show kindness and mean it.

(10) Those who knew the meaning of blessings, and on a personal level, were a blessing to me, in some way or form, through your words, posts, or emails, phone calls, and in some instances, gifts to show comfort and concern. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

THE WORSE OF THE BLOG WORLD:

(1) Those who spoke and misused speech to show superiority, to gain ground and to bully others. Or those who chose to shame someone in public.

(2) Those who exhibited anger in an inappropriate way, and spoke with a mean-spirit.

(3) Those who were hypocrities, practicing one method of living in their own lives, and when coming onto the blog scene, used their words in an entirely different manner.

(4) Those who were critical, those who behaved badly and in a nasty fashion.

(5) Those who stood by idly when seeing someone being rebuked unfairly, saying or doing nothing, remaining silent instead of acting.

(6) Those who lied and were dishonest.

(7) Those who felt superior to others and let them know so with unkind words on their blogs.

(8) Those who used their blogs to spread unfair gossip.

(9) Those who did not act in a manner to love Thy Neighbor as Thyself.

(10) Those who used their words and came on-to the blog of someone else to be mean, unkind and angry and not be couragous to identify themselves openly or allow the other person to speak out. In other words, those who acted unfairly.

This list is based upon my own observations and conclusions in the world of blogging. It is meant to be suggestive only. If we are steadfast and honest with ourselves, we will see which category(s) we fall into, and how, our blog can be of contribution, wisdom and glory to others. In some cases, one can learn to be and do better, in others, not so. That being said, there are many blogs out there which have been creative, enlightening and glorious too.

Thank you for your minds.

What Are Miracles & When Do We Know They Are Here?

EDITED:

Hanukah, we are told is a time for miracles. As the story is discloses, these eight days commemorate the Maccbean victory over Antochius of Syria more than 20 centuries ago. As they were going to to cleanse and rededicate the Temple, the Macabees found only enough sacred oil to light the menorah for one day. Unknown to them a miracle occurred and the oil lasted for eight nights. Henceforth, when we light our menorahs, we are reminded of these mysteries and miracles and celebrate their occurrence.

But it leads me to a question, as always, which is, what is a miracle, how does is it defined, recognized, and how shall we give thanks for them? Is a something so profound, and of such a large scale to be defined exclusively in large terms such as what happened during Maccabean victory over Antochius, or can a miracle be something smaller, and even of a personal nature? Can one conclude that a miracle takes place for instance when someone with a cold heart or evil inclination turns around to do a kind act? Is it a miracle when we want something to happen so badly, and it turns out only as we wish it to be? Or can a miracle be a child taking her first steps? Can it be defined as someone who has the disease of alcoholism, leading a life of recovery today? Is it a miracle when someone is ill and recovers?

For me, miracles do not have to be those grandiose acts, but can in fact be small in form, anything that one may not expect to happen, but does, that has the power to transform and illuminate our lives, even something that can allow us to change, become a better, kinder or even stronger human beings.

This past Friday, my daughter was unable to sit and have Hanukkah and Shabbath dinner with us, but when I lit the candles, and began reading from from the prayerbook, I could see her responding to our words in the other room, feeling her joy, as if, at that moment, the true meaning and spirit of the holiday was descending upon our home. For me, although small, that act was miraculous in nature.

What are some of the miracles that you have experienced, and how have they affected your lives?

Let me thank the fellow blogger, Pragmatician, for his kind email and inquiry, and allowing me to think about this subject for a post today.

As an afterthought, I think a good act of charity, or kindness, would be to go to a blog of someone whom you do not communicate with so much these days, have perhaps been unkind to in the past, or maybe owe an amends to for something, and wish him/her well for the season. You will be amazed how good you feel afterwards!

Thank you for your minds.

Should Menorahs and Christmas Trees Be Allowed in Public Places?

Over the past couple of days, in Seattle Washington, a Rabbi, with Chabad, had complained because several Christmas trees were displayed promenantly inside of the Seattle airports.
http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/World/2006/12/12/2753011-sun.html
Consequently, the trees were removed, and many complaints were made. One of the complainants was in fact the Rabbi himself. In fact, he demanded that the Christmas trees be put back up, where they were, and felt it was an inappropriate move to take them down in the first place. His request, was that in addition to the trees, a menorah should be added, to display the light that is felt by Jews this time of year as well. After much discussion, the airport officials did replace the trees, and also decided that a request for a menorah would be taken seriously as well, and agreed to display one there.

What I found so amazing about this particular story was the Rabbi's perspective. Rather than take something away, he wanted to add something to make his statement. His position reminded me of the difference between a person who constantly finds fault with what another may be doing, telling him/her to do something differently, to take away what is transpiring, as opposed to a positive individual who may try to illuminate light and direct the person to add something to his/her life for self-improvement. Frankly, the manner in which this Rabbi made his point, in fact demanding that the trees be put back, ultimately made a stronger statement in support of his position rather than had it been the opposite, and he asked for their removal instead.

Around the holidays, many people are faced with family and friends, and sometimes, much tension and chaos and drama are created. People may criticize, or feel criticized, others may belittle because something is not done in a certain way. For me, the manner in which this Rabbi made his point, to add light rather than to take away something unpleasant spoke clearly as far as lessons we can all learn this holiday season about how to interact with others, and ultimately make a positive difference in their lives.

Thank you for your minds.

Internet Relationships: What Do They Mean and Is True Friendship Possible?

For about ten years now, I have had the occasion to meet people, both men and women, through the click of the mouse. Cyber-space opens up an entire universe to us, transecting both time, place and space. Some connections have been through chat rooms of various subjects, including classical music, pets, Judaism, fragrances, and books. It is also the case that I am a member of a make-up site, and have been an on-and off poster there for the past four years.

But who are these people we meet in this impersonal forum, and what, if any true meaning and relationship do they have and give to our lives? Do some of us feel more comfortable behind a computer screen where we can be who we want, say whatever we feel (uncensored at times) and allow others to think about us in a way that may not be accurate in the 'real world?' How often do we hear others say that they are there for us, and within a few weeks, maybe even days, their words dissolve like aka-seltzer in water, and we do not ever hear from them again? Are others reactors, i.e. people who only come around if communication is initiated, or do they freely and truly give of themselves unequivocally? When people say, I am sending you thoughts and prayers, does this mean that they really care about us, would take the time to be there if necessary, or just want to look good on the computer screen for others to see?

Sometimes it seems as if we give those individuals whom we meet on the internet more value, and excuse them more often if they do not meet our expectations, than those individuals who are a part of our real, non-cyber lives. Sitting behind the veil of a screen reminds me, in a way, of the Great and All Powerful Wizard of Oz...We imagine grandiosely when in reality, there may sit someone who, like everyone of us knows, is weak, timid, shy and maybe a cut below average.

As posted on this blog, our family has been going through an illness with our daughter once again. Pain and crisis are great equalizers, and it is often the case that during these times, we know truly who our friends are, and who are those who say they are, but are not. That being said, there have been individuals whom I have met through the internet who have been genuinely concerned, caring and even loving in so many ways. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Many of you have even sent me gmail messages with your warm wishes, which are truly appreciated. That being said, there are others who have stayed completely silent, including one religious man who has routinely posted, but has made no contact whatsoever. Every human being with whom we interact is created in God's image, and therefore is as valuable as we are ourselves. Can a feeling of superiority replace humility and compassion?

What have I learned from this experience, and where does it leave me in terms of the conclusions that are reached about relationships on the internet vs. those outside of cyber-space? For one, I am much more appreciative of the real friends that I have (some of you I have actually met in cyber-space.) Flaws and all, you are grand, and when you say you care, you mean it. When you say you pray, you do it, and when you say you are there for me, I can literally feel your hearts beat.....

Thank you for everything (and of course, your minds.)

A Letter For My Daughter

Dear B.I:

Although today, this day, is not a very good one for you, for your father, your brother or for me, it seemed only fitting to write you a letter, remember, and talk about all of the wonderful, good and even great times we had together this year. Being ill is so difficult and painful, for you, for us, but one must not forget the good moments we had as well and I want you to remember them too. Life can and does change in an instant, and I want to take this opportunity to tell you how much you, and this year have meant to me, your mother.

In spite of having health setbacks, you decided you wanted to go back to college, to finish up your degree, and you perservered with such tenacity, determination and strong spirit that you were able to accomplish you goal. You are a true hero to me, and I am so very, very proud of your accomplishment.

When your father and I decided to go to Israel in August, in the middle of the war, instead of discouraging us, or being scared, you were sensible, practical and wanted us to make sure that you had a key to the house and the cars, and all the papers before we embarked on our adventurous trip. Your brother, who more often than not is a 'cool cucumber,' showed some signs of fear, and sent cautionary emails to us, with a plea to stay home. Listening to you turned out to be such a good idea, and I thank you for your wisdom. I remember when we would call you from Israel, and say good morning, and you would respond, 'no, it is evening, but I'll talk to you anyway!' You have been a great pillar to lean on, whether you have known so or not.

Mostly, I remember the good times you and I shared together this year. At the last minute, you decided to come to Houston with us, for your cousin's wedding. To this day, I am so happy that you came, to share this happy, joyful occasion together with the family. When we stayed in the same room together, you wanted to talk most of the night about what was going on in your life. What a great gift those moments were, and how I truly cherish them. We laughed together, cried, and pondered the many possiblities about life and its meaning. You would also call me when you finished with classes and asked me to come over, have lunch, go to a movie, and to this day, I am so grateful that I went, even if I was tired from work. Those moments we were able to spend together were so wonderful. I still remember the last movie we saw, The Queen, and you telling me that this was the movie that we were going to see together, both of us, so it would be better not to see it with anyone else.

Today, you are ill again, but you know my saying, so long as there is breathe, there is hope. Know that neither I nor your father will ever give up on you, and that we are here for you always, each and every day. I love you more than words can say, and seeing you ill is as if half of my own heart is breaking in two. I will continue to pray for your good health twice each day, and not ever give up hope.

"May the Lord bless you and safeguard you. May the Lord illuminate his countenance for you and be gracious to you. May the Lord turn His face towards you and establish peace for you."

All my love,
Mom