Acts of Kindness & Charity: Who Ultimately Benefits & Why?
Although it is daylight saving's time, my own internal clock seems to work with more precision than the measure of time that beats on the outside of the universe. No matter where I am, waking up at 4:30 or 5 am is the norm for me. Actually, today, I must confess to waking up at 3:30 am, a bit earlier than usual.
Each one of us has at some time or another performed an act of charity or kindness for another person. For some, the motivation is self-centered, as is the outcome, and the act done is directly in proportion to what the giver himself/herself can receive. In other words, we give only if we benefit in some manner. For others, charity or kindness is something that comes from a kind heart, a desire to do something truly good for another human being, no matter the outcome. In otherwords, a truly self-less act takes place. Nevertheless, often it is the case, that by doing these acts, we, ourselves benefit in ways unthought of or known at the time.
While I was in Israel, we went to the craft fair in Tel-Aviv. Tourism was at a low because of the on-going war with Hezbollah and Hamas, and one could tell that business, at least economically speaking, was not as usual. Perhaps I mentioned this, but I collect art with a violin theme, whether they be trinkets, paintings, sculptures, or oils, and have been doing so for about 18 years, since my son began playing the violin. While at the fair, I saw this elderly couple, whose eyes lit up when I went to look at a rather large paper mache item that one of them had made, depicting a man in a long black coat playing the violin. This couple was so happy that I stopped by, and one could tell that they had not sold anything all day. The husband's eyes beamed when I asked the price, and I said, fine, I will take it. His wife hugged me, and thanked me, in very broken English, and remarked, 'think of us when you look at this.' When my husband saw what I had purchased, he could not believe that I paid over $20 for it, and commented that the item was poorly designed, made and what was I thinking. My comment was, that it was a person with a violin, something that I collected, and that I wanted to help this couple, to consider the money as a donation, or an act of charity.
Several months have passed since this fiddler was purchased. I can still see the look in the eyes of the husband and wife who sold him to me. This character sits proudly in our living room, displayed for all to see. More than anything, the fiddler has come to represent Israel to me, battered, sometimes falling down, torn apart, but nevertheless still standing proud with its head up, doing what is necessary to continue to survive, and not ever giving up, but continuing to play no matter what. Every morning I look at the fiddler, and remember Israel in this way, the strength of its people when faced with adversity. Who knew that this trinket would be such a strong symbol and have such a beautiful meaning in our home and in my heart.
On a side note, this year, I am not passing out Halloween candy. This is the fist Halloween without my beloved dog, Astro. He loved the holiday so much, would bark and get so excited when the children came to the door, and he was so cleaver, that he too would wait in line for his treats. My heart has a hole in it from his absence, and he is missed dearly.
Be well, be kind, have faith and do great things in the coming week.
Thank you for your minds.
Each one of us has at some time or another performed an act of charity or kindness for another person. For some, the motivation is self-centered, as is the outcome, and the act done is directly in proportion to what the giver himself/herself can receive. In other words, we give only if we benefit in some manner. For others, charity or kindness is something that comes from a kind heart, a desire to do something truly good for another human being, no matter the outcome. In otherwords, a truly self-less act takes place. Nevertheless, often it is the case, that by doing these acts, we, ourselves benefit in ways unthought of or known at the time.
While I was in Israel, we went to the craft fair in Tel-Aviv. Tourism was at a low because of the on-going war with Hezbollah and Hamas, and one could tell that business, at least economically speaking, was not as usual. Perhaps I mentioned this, but I collect art with a violin theme, whether they be trinkets, paintings, sculptures, or oils, and have been doing so for about 18 years, since my son began playing the violin. While at the fair, I saw this elderly couple, whose eyes lit up when I went to look at a rather large paper mache item that one of them had made, depicting a man in a long black coat playing the violin. This couple was so happy that I stopped by, and one could tell that they had not sold anything all day. The husband's eyes beamed when I asked the price, and I said, fine, I will take it. His wife hugged me, and thanked me, in very broken English, and remarked, 'think of us when you look at this.' When my husband saw what I had purchased, he could not believe that I paid over $20 for it, and commented that the item was poorly designed, made and what was I thinking. My comment was, that it was a person with a violin, something that I collected, and that I wanted to help this couple, to consider the money as a donation, or an act of charity.
Several months have passed since this fiddler was purchased. I can still see the look in the eyes of the husband and wife who sold him to me. This character sits proudly in our living room, displayed for all to see. More than anything, the fiddler has come to represent Israel to me, battered, sometimes falling down, torn apart, but nevertheless still standing proud with its head up, doing what is necessary to continue to survive, and not ever giving up, but continuing to play no matter what. Every morning I look at the fiddler, and remember Israel in this way, the strength of its people when faced with adversity. Who knew that this trinket would be such a strong symbol and have such a beautiful meaning in our home and in my heart.
On a side note, this year, I am not passing out Halloween candy. This is the fist Halloween without my beloved dog, Astro. He loved the holiday so much, would bark and get so excited when the children came to the door, and he was so cleaver, that he too would wait in line for his treats. My heart has a hole in it from his absence, and he is missed dearly.
Be well, be kind, have faith and do great things in the coming week.
Thank you for your minds.
12 Comments:
I heard a completely different accounting of the Jeruselum location these past couple of weeks.
I had no computer to use, no way to verify the things I was hearing.
I am afraid to ask for fear of you banning me from yer site.
Then again, what the hey? If y'dropt me from yer roles, it would make things plainer fer the two of us.
If it brings you to thought, then you'll be as confused by it as I.
That one of the reasons the UN picked Jeruselum was to get the Jews out of Europe.
Odd bit, that, eh?
But, then I thought about it (always a dangerous thing, thinking)
and added it up with an old joke from National Lampoon...That a huge chunk of land from the Ruhr Valley (beautiful, lush forrestry and such) was going to be put aside for Jews in memorial for the attrocious crimes commited against them.
That I had found the NL only weeks before m'trip to Canada and hearing what I heard seemed an odd coincidence.
Of course, I know of the ideology of Jeruselum, but, I also know of history and that the crusades left the in question lands in others' hands. That would be the Palestinians, eh?
So, you can see why I am so nervous about asking your knowledge on this.
Boneman,
Of course I would not consider ever banning you from my site. You are always a welcome guest.
I do not have an answer to your question, unfortunately. The post was meant to illuminate my experience with a couple whom I met in Tel Aviv, and a purchase I made.
Please feel free to come back as often as you like.
"The perfume of sandalwood, the scent of the bay leaf and jasmine,
travel only as far as the wind.
But the fragrance of goodness travels with us through all worlds.
Like garlands woven from flowers,
fashion your life as a garland of
beautiful deeds." Buddha
I read that tonight in a book I keep close by me....... it seemed appropriate to share with you....
Acts of kindness are the foundational "threads" of hope in this world.
Fiddlers always share beautiful music to dance to........
Dear Barbara,
You hit a sensitive button for me with this post. I may get a little personal in my comments, so good thing you have re-enabled comment moderation! You may not want to publish it.
For years I have had an ongoing philosophical debate with family and friends: can altruism really exist? Can someone act solely for the benefit of another, without thought of benefit for him/herself?
Background: I come from a rather wealthy family, with some very powerful people in finance and in one of the mainline Protestant churches. Mostly I, and friends and family, argued that no, altruism does not exist. One cannot TOTALLY eliminate some form of self benefit from giving charity or doing random acts of kindness. Even if one does not benefit in a concrete way, one does obtain a feeling of goodness and/or self satisfaction. That's part of what makes us fallible humans.
That said: my family also believes this: one MUST give charity. However, one must NEVER ACCEPT charity. That would be unacceptable. Only the lowest of the low accept charity. (white trash, untouchable, whatever you want to call it.)
The last 5 to 6 years have been very difficult for me. No need for the details. But I found myself severely ill, almost on the verge of being committed, career and marriage destroyed. I am just beginning to pick up the pieces.
And I find myself in a position of having to accept charity. Unacceptable to my family, so I don't tell them. They think everything is just hunky dory.
It is a very humbling experience. At the same time, I am amazed at who has stood beside me, and stepped out of their way to help with no benefit to themselves. Doctors, attorneys, old boyfriends even. Some people have just handed me cash. Some have given services without charge. Some are just being loyal, true-blue friends, no matter what. The experience has changed my position on altruism. I can't see how they get any benefit at all, tangible or intangible. This experience has totally changed my perspective on humanity.
Well, I've rambled enough. I hope I didn't get too far off the subject.
Sincerely,
WW
Some interesting comments here...
Awareness, thank you for that beautiful quote, it is a true gem.
WW- I am sorry you have had to experience such personal difficulties, which I imagine were painful. You are lucky to have been blessed with so many good people who surrounded you when you were in times of need.
My original comment was directed to those individuals who give only in proportion to get something back themselves, and are motivated by self-centeredness. This could be someone who wants money, a job, sex, a promotion, a number of activities, but ultimately, he/she is not a true giver.
It has been my experience that many of those who give unconditionally ususally have a beautiful and powerful relationship with the Almighty, and consequently are able to pass His gifts down to others as a result.
I have always appreciated what the Rambam said. You can find commentary on it here. Or you can always look at:
1) (the best) Giving a loan or getting him a job, so that he won't need to ask for charity any more.
2) The giver doesn't know who he is giving to, and the poor doesn't know who he is getting from.
3) The giver knows who he gave to, but the poor doesn't know who he is getting from.
4) The giver doesn't know who he gave to, but the poor knows who he is getting from.
5) Giving straight to the poor, before he even asks.
6) Giving after he asks.
7) Giving, but not enough.
8) Giving sourly, sadly. However, even this kind of charity is a Mitzvah.
The Hebrew word tzedakah comes from the root tzade/dalet/koof, which means "justice' or "righteousness." It is commonly known as "Charity," though this is not an exact translation. God commands us to pursue justice (tzedek) in the famous verse from Deuteronomy 16:20: "Justice, justice shall you pursue". A righteous person is called a tzadik. It is a mitzvah, an obligation, to perform tzedakah, acts of righteousness and justice.
SaurKid is soooo excited about this Halloween, which he says may be his last (he's 13 now). I'm sorry Astro can't share it with you this year. My doggies just go ballistic at Halloween.
I've done many acts of charity/kindness. It's not to get pats on the back (sometimes it's anonymous) but it's because I remember the days when I was a thin, starving single mom who had to forgo meals at times to pay the bills, and lived in a bad area of town, barely making ends meet. If I can help others who are willing to help themselves, I'll do it every time. What often amazes me, however, is how few people truly want to help themselves.
Jack,
Thank you for that wonderful list. I will check out the commentary later when I come home from work. I love the fact that giver can be blind (sometimes like justice) but maybe better. Indeed giving freely without knowing to whom one gives, is an awesome, humble concept. Boasting can indeed make the act more self-centered.
Saur, I am so happy that you will enjoy the company of Saurkid tomorrow night. I deeply still miss Astro, and dispite attempts to look for another animal, I am just not quite ready yet.
What a beautiful post, Barbara. Tzedakah is so important to me. Selfless tzedakah, that is. Genuine, no-strings-attached help.
I hear you about Halloween and your beloved dog. I lost mine almost 3 months ago. It will not be the same without her, but I will pass out candy, anyway, because I have 2 young daughters. My heart will be heavy, though. I miss her so much.
Happy Halloween! Today I posted a true ghost story that happened to me over 13 years ago. I think you'll be interested! ;o)
I love that story and have many similar ones because my husband and I tend to use people for services because they need the money rather than because of the quality of what they are providing!
What we give up in standards we make up for by knowing that we made a difference for people who are struggling financially.
You do have a tender heart Miss Barbara. You were doing an act of service when you bought that picture and it has special meaning to you.
I know you still miss your Astro. It takes a while for that longing to die down.
Have a good week.
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