For the love (and dislike) of those little things
Usually thinking of myself as one of those 'deep thinkers' and educated women, I like to live in that fanatically misguided belief, thinking that I am one of those beings who is able to cope with all of life's dramas and dilemmas and manage their outcome as well. Just let me burst the bubble from the onset, and let you all in on a revelation of self-discovery: I can actually control and manage nothing.
Yesterday, I sat waiting for a couple of packages to arrive of some clothing I had ordered to wear to our son's college graduation this weekend. I sat, most of the morning mind you, and watched as the clock ticked away, each sound of the movement blazing louder and louder, and becoming heavier, as time passed and the packages had not arrived. After all, I had paid for express shipping, to have them delivered timely, an extra $20.00 and had spent the last two days, almost every hour calling to see if the package had arrived. After all the pushing, and telling the sale's people how important these items were to me (I mean, do they not know who I am and that I need them right now), I was still left packageless. I must mention that we are not leaving until Friday night, although you would have thought from all of my ranting, that we were leaving two days from yesterday, and I knew the outfits would fit properly, after spending the last few days starving myself, and conseequently experiencing light-headness on the loose 10 pounds in two days diet.But no, I wanted those packages immediately.
Pacing the floor, breathing heavily like an intoxicated dragon, waiting and waiting, I still did not have the package. It was the daily inability to manage those little things in live that were driving me into an enraged stupor!
Suddenly, I had an epiphany! No matter how much I ranted, raved, become enraged and upset, the package would not come just because I wanted it to be there. I had to accept that it was not up to me to make something happen or not just because I wanted it to be so.
How many of us work ourselves into absolute frenzies because something does not happen the way we want it to and how? For me, it seems to be those little things that drive me to madness, waiting in lines, traffic on the freeway, not being able to fix that particular something, having or not having something when I want it!
In the scheme of the world, today, I know that although those little things matter, in the scheme of the bigger picture, they are really not so important, and even if I might think they are, it will make little, if any difference.
Thank you for your minds.
Yesterday, I sat waiting for a couple of packages to arrive of some clothing I had ordered to wear to our son's college graduation this weekend. I sat, most of the morning mind you, and watched as the clock ticked away, each sound of the movement blazing louder and louder, and becoming heavier, as time passed and the packages had not arrived. After all, I had paid for express shipping, to have them delivered timely, an extra $20.00 and had spent the last two days, almost every hour calling to see if the package had arrived. After all the pushing, and telling the sale's people how important these items were to me (I mean, do they not know who I am and that I need them right now), I was still left packageless. I must mention that we are not leaving until Friday night, although you would have thought from all of my ranting, that we were leaving two days from yesterday, and I knew the outfits would fit properly, after spending the last few days starving myself, and conseequently experiencing light-headness on the loose 10 pounds in two days diet.But no, I wanted those packages immediately.
Pacing the floor, breathing heavily like an intoxicated dragon, waiting and waiting, I still did not have the package. It was the daily inability to manage those little things in live that were driving me into an enraged stupor!
Suddenly, I had an epiphany! No matter how much I ranted, raved, become enraged and upset, the package would not come just because I wanted it to be there. I had to accept that it was not up to me to make something happen or not just because I wanted it to be so.
How many of us work ourselves into absolute frenzies because something does not happen the way we want it to and how? For me, it seems to be those little things that drive me to madness, waiting in lines, traffic on the freeway, not being able to fix that particular something, having or not having something when I want it!
In the scheme of the world, today, I know that although those little things matter, in the scheme of the bigger picture, they are really not so important, and even if I might think they are, it will make little, if any difference.
Thank you for your minds.
8 Comments:
ah, my dear Intoxicated Dragon!
Oh M...You must know...That the postmaster called my house at 6:58 am this morning and said the magic words, as if I had hit the jackpot: I HAVE YOUR PACKAGE.
There is definite peace that comes with accepting the fact that some things are beyond your control. Now, if I could only convince myself that my husband's cholesterol level is one of those things.
Congratulations on the receipt of your package.
I really enjoy your blog.
*points and shrieks*
Control freak! Control freak!
;-D
off topic'
Barbara one of the reasons I support the Kurdish people is because I know others have been murdered in genocide and to me NEVER AGAIN MEANS NEVER AGAIN.
My step father came to America as a very young boy as a refuge from the Turkish genocide of Armenians. And 95% of my wife's family was butchered during ww2. The genocide directed at the Kurds strikes deeply into my being.
Yochanan,
I am 110 percent in agreement with you. Any type of genocide, directed at any group is an act of extreme cruelty and one which should not be tolerated EVER!
Thank you for your passionate voice on a subject that is very dear to my heart too.
You've heard the phrase, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." It's easier said then done, that's for sure.
You write well and may want to check out this blog:
http://indeterminacy.blogspot.com
This guy in Europe posts a picture every week day and writes a very short story from it. He invites all comments, additions and ideas, etc...
On Fridays, he usually posts a pic and has people write their own story over the weekend. On Monday, it's fun discussing all the entries. I really enjoy this blog, and maybe you will too.
Jamie Dawn,
Thank you so very much for the recommendation. I will definitely check this one out.
And thank you for your insightful comments, and visits to my blog. In fact thank you to everyone!
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