Turning a "Negative" Into A "Positive"
All of us have surely experienced some type of misfortune to ourselves and/or or families. Often, after such a painful event takes place, many people retreat, drawing themselves deep into a dark space. Some people need to do this in order to heal, yet there are others who stay there, afraid to come up for fresh air. Consequently, the tragedy or misfortune becomes and defines who they are.
Last night, I had an amazing opportunity to hear a panel of speakers talk about their children who had committed suicide. One mother, who had just lost her beautiful daughter less than a year ago, decided to go talk to schools, juveniles, and other youth groups to inform them about the finality of such actions. In her words, if she was able to affect one life, her mission was accomplished. Sadly, what I learned last night was that each day, between 50 and 80 individuals die by their own hands. Such a tragedy.
What this women taught me last night, however, is often, when faced with adversity, rather than retreat into that dark cave, we can turn our lives into an example and speak positive messages for others to hear. Turning a negative into a positive through our own actions (not inactions) can truly transform ourselves and others around us as well.
On a side note, I am back working every morning, and blogging may be limited this week. Something that absolutely boggled my mind, was that in a court room of 15 lawyers, there were seven of us, sitting in a row, who were left handed. A good omen, I think!
Thank you for your minds.
Last night, I had an amazing opportunity to hear a panel of speakers talk about their children who had committed suicide. One mother, who had just lost her beautiful daughter less than a year ago, decided to go talk to schools, juveniles, and other youth groups to inform them about the finality of such actions. In her words, if she was able to affect one life, her mission was accomplished. Sadly, what I learned last night was that each day, between 50 and 80 individuals die by their own hands. Such a tragedy.
What this women taught me last night, however, is often, when faced with adversity, rather than retreat into that dark cave, we can turn our lives into an example and speak positive messages for others to hear. Turning a negative into a positive through our own actions (not inactions) can truly transform ourselves and others around us as well.
On a side note, I am back working every morning, and blogging may be limited this week. Something that absolutely boggled my mind, was that in a court room of 15 lawyers, there were seven of us, sitting in a row, who were left handed. A good omen, I think!
Thank you for your minds.
16 Comments:
A courtroom of 15 lawyers? How can that be good in any circumstance?
In every tragic event, there is a "gift." One must find out what it is.
hey Barbara. Many suicides are committed by people of borderline personality disorder who are not aiming to kill themselves but to attract attention. This personality disorder is mostly seen in women. However according to statistics men committ more successful suicides.
Anyways it is sad to C people discarding themselves for sudden emotional imbalances, not giving themselves the chance to think things over again...
Sounds almost balanced in the courtroom, and you know just how to make light of the overlooked counter valences in situations. I have that problem of wanting to go off and die alone when I'm injured. I think by dwelling on the problem, you're still stuck at the reaction phase, or maybe immobilized, whereas by letting your solution be the healing process even though it still hurts, you get over having to question what to do next because you're preoccupied doing it. Great implications.
Thanks for sharing the mission of these women and keep on the lookout for more mind bogglers.
A good omen indeed! You know how I feel about lefties. :-)
I can't imagine the pain and guilt of a parent whose child has committed suicide. The only way to survive it would be to channel it into trying to save or help others.
Adding to dr o2's comment about borderlines: there's some support for the idea that men may be as likely as women to be borderlines, but whereas borderline women typically "act in" (e.g., self-mutilation, suicide attempts or threats), borderline men "act out" (e.g., harming others), which lands them in prison where they never get a proper BPD diagnosis.
My borderline mother's favorite trick was not to threaten suicide but disappearance. She would pack a suitcase, line the family up, and announce triumphantly, "I'm leaving this family!" Then she would escape to a hotel for a few days. I guess since fear of abandonment is at the core of BPD, many borderlines have to abandon before they are abandoned. Suicide accomplishes this neatly.
I knew a stupid woman (sorry, but that is the only accurate word for her) whose boyfriend stuck his head in the oven and threatened to turn on the gas if she wouldn't marry him. Her response: "How could I say no to that?" They got married and had one child who ended up with MAJOR emotional and psychological problems.
Thus, 80% of me feels deep compassion for people who are suffering enough that they want to take their own lives, but the other 20% hates them for being so freaking manipulative of those who love them.
Sadly, what I learned last night was that each day, between 50 and 80 individuals die by their own hands.
I had no idea that the statistics were this high. How awful.
How wonderful that this woman was able to channel her tragedy into something positive. How very inspiring.
Hope you are enjoying going back to work.
seriously tho, my daughter has tried it(suicide)I think. I say, "I think" because she never quite does it good anuff.
It is part of her pattern, after she has spun out of control, she becomes so self hateful & despondant.
I believe It is her way of saying she's in anguish & wants the pain to go away. Or, she wants us to know how much pain she is in.
It is manipulative, that is true. & I share winterwheat's feelings about it.
In my own depression, I've considered suicide, but thinking of what pain it would cause my family stops me.
My Grandfather on my Dads' side did it when my dad was a small boy. I believe it scarred my dad for life. He had to go into an orphanage because of it.
I wish that my daughter could listen to somebody tell all about it.
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i know we really weren't on a "suicide" topic, but i will admit to trying it (not successful). although i'm glad now ... at the time, it wasn't for attention (because if no one knew, that would have been fine) ... it was more for just ending the pain of things. it happens to people. but to grow from those experiences and to learn something and possibly teach others is a really good thing.
i think you can take just about any situation and turn it into a positive, it's what you decide to do. those that "think" will probably want to grow and learn. there are those that i think don't really grow and so don't ... just seems to be their nature.
I think God wants us to turn lemons into lemonaid....Why wallow in pain!
Who needs 15 lawyers on one case? Goodness.
LOL....15 lawyers on one case would be a complete nightmare.
15 lawyers, who are assigned to one court, on numerous cases.
It is odd, to have 7 lawyers in one court, out of 15, be left-handed!
It is truely odd to have that many left-handed people in one place. What are the % concerning the odds of being born left-handed? does anyone know? We don't have a lefty in the family. (my family of 5, my siblings 7, and parents)
You know, this suicide talk had me so depressed all day yesterday. shudder. It has got to be one of the most difficult topics in the world. & very hard to make a positive.
sharon will go down as a hero IMHO
Woow out of 15....7 of you are left handed...that is unusual.....My Mother is left handed....and my Mother in law!!!
Have a great day!!!!
So many people are not aware of the options they have or the services they can take advantage of, and come to a tragic end. As a teacher, I make sure mty students are always aware that there are services available, that I am available, and that life may have it's downs, but it also has it's ups.
That's beautiful about the mothers of suicide victims using their pain to help people.
I met one such woman a few years ago. She was an amazing lady. She said something that stuck in my mind, "The universe is a bigger place than right or wrong."
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