Do You Find Some Words Offensive?
Recovering from a busy week, and a trip to Miami, to visit my dear cousin, who is hospitalized, and see other family briefly, I have been absent from blogsville. The trip, which was short, was nevertheless quite emotional, with me seeing my beloved cousin, who appeared to be much weaker and thinner, and my adored aunt, who is 88, and told me she would probably not be seeing me anymore, it made me realize how life, whether we like how it happens or not, is filled with difficulties as well as blessings. Although it may often be difficult to be there in a time of need, it is necessary, mostly for the comfort of others, regardless of our own feelings and discomfort. That being said, it would be nice to have some peace and calm, even if for only a brief period of time.
While I was in Miami, I had a chance to go visit some family who are in the jewerly business. Many are from another generation, and some speak Yiddish, which I can understand a little bit. As they were speaking this colorful and delightful language, it made me think of words, their meaning and whether meaning is derived from use, or vice-versa.
For example, there are some words, when used, that I find offensive, on their face. The primary purpose of these words is neither descriptive nor with absolute meaning, but ultimately, they are mean and unkind. Among these words, for me, are crazy, nuts, fag, the n word, kike, dike, and nut-job. But while in Miami, I heard a word that was used by my grandparents frequently, which, to me, I did understand to be offensive, but completely neutral, and that is the word, goyim. As explained in the Torah and the Talmud, this word, which is used inside these texts, literally means other nations. It is completely netural. While at a jewerly store, buying something, I became engaged in a conversation with someone who is a Jew, and he said that his wife has a fit if this word is used. Although not a a Torah scholar, I explained to him what my understanding of this word is, and how it was not thought of to hurt nor offend others.
Are there some words that you find to be offensive, standing by themselves? Are they words that are meant to be mean, to hurt or to disparage others, or have they become so through their own meaning?
Thank you for your minds.
While I was in Miami, I had a chance to go visit some family who are in the jewerly business. Many are from another generation, and some speak Yiddish, which I can understand a little bit. As they were speaking this colorful and delightful language, it made me think of words, their meaning and whether meaning is derived from use, or vice-versa.
For example, there are some words, when used, that I find offensive, on their face. The primary purpose of these words is neither descriptive nor with absolute meaning, but ultimately, they are mean and unkind. Among these words, for me, are crazy, nuts, fag, the n word, kike, dike, and nut-job. But while in Miami, I heard a word that was used by my grandparents frequently, which, to me, I did understand to be offensive, but completely neutral, and that is the word, goyim. As explained in the Torah and the Talmud, this word, which is used inside these texts, literally means other nations. It is completely netural. While at a jewerly store, buying something, I became engaged in a conversation with someone who is a Jew, and he said that his wife has a fit if this word is used. Although not a a Torah scholar, I explained to him what my understanding of this word is, and how it was not thought of to hurt nor offend others.
Are there some words that you find to be offensive, standing by themselves? Are they words that are meant to be mean, to hurt or to disparage others, or have they become so through their own meaning?
Thank you for your minds.
32 Comments:
I find no words offensive in and of themselves.
Some people and their use of a certain word can make it offensive contextually.
Goyim sounds like the it has had the same redaction that the greek word 'barbarian' suffered.
Originally it was a simple term for anyone who didn't speak greek. they sounded like they were saying 'barbarbarbar' to greek ears. It wasnt insulting just descriptive.
It was only with our culture 'barbarian' acquired its negative connotations.
Words are only offensive if we let them be.
I get really irritated by people saying 'gay' when they mean non-heterosexual and by extension, 'gay', when they mean rubbish or stupid or bad. And I get annoyed by the use of 'sad' to dismiss another persons activities or habits.
It's the combination of laziness and evasiveness. If people would work out precisely what they think about other people they might realise they were intending to be offensive and dismissive. (and I think crazy, nuts, fag, kike, dyke etc are those kinds of words too)
Grrr.
No one has the right to dismiss another person if they can't even be bothered to work out what they think about them!
I always thought Goyim was a neutral term, only acquiring offensiveness when it's made very clear that offense is intended. But I don't know many jews so that may be just my ignorance speaking :)
strange, but that topic came up today with my partner. she was saying that sometimes i use words that she doesn't like to hear me using ... mostly the word "hate" (as in "i hate those things" or "i hate doing something" or "i hate someone"). my meaning is mostly that of deep dislike and not a condemnation of any kind. to her it's like a finality and the worst you can say.
so as in one of your past topics -- "what would you do or not do for your spouse" -- i told her my meaning and she understands, but it still bothers her ... so now i will try and curb my use of the word ... because it does offend her and probably, now i realize, offend others who may hear me use it. we can bend and behave a bit better if it will make people feel a little more comfortable.
just funny how that came up today.
I will not tolerate the N word. There is never a reason to use it. Ever. I also don't like broad when describing a womyn. Wolf used it as a compliment, he equates it to 'dame' but to me it's just rude and jarring so he stopped using it.
Really I don't like any word that's meant to insult another persyn's race, sexuality, or ethnicty. However, and I know this makes me a contradiction in terms, c!nt doesn't bother me (I use it all the time) nor does douche bag.
This is an interesting question and although I can only relate the ones that are offensive to me, for the most part I cannot say why. They are, after all, just words.
However, I find it curious that when substituting a "non-offensive" word for an offensive one - especially when all involved know what the substituted word in question is - it is somehow acceptable. Freaking is a prime example. You can say freaking on TV, but we all know what was meant was f******. Yet, it's perfectly ok. Maybe it's because we have the option of not making that substitution in our mind. I don't know.
It all has to do with social definitions and the evolution of same. Being "gay" used to mean "happy."
Today, it doesn't matter how freaking happy I am... do not call me gay! ***not that there's anything wrong with that.
~Mike
BTW:
Do you know Bill W. or Jimmy K.
If you don't want to answer, just delete this. I understand.
~Mike
What's a word, anyway?
Black kids call each other the N word, and some Jewish friends use the most self-deprecating yiddish words imaginable... Almost as terms of endearment...
Go figure...
There is 2 words I never never use....and that is the ""N"" word and the ""GD"" word....and I can't stand if people use it around me either.
Have a great day!!!
I agree with mongooser; some words can definitely be made offensive contextually even if they're not inherently offensive.
I hate the word "girl" applied to any woman over 18. I too hate the N word, but more than anything I'm embarrassed for people who use it. I think, "What, did you arrive here by time travel from 1954??" Same for any other racial or gender slur.
I don't like the word "tolerance" for acceptance, because it implies that there's something bad that needs to be tolerated. I don't "tolerate" homosexuals or Jews; I like them.
Ironically, some of the basest, most offensive words started out as euphemisms. One of my least favorite words, pussy, was a euphemism at one time; now it's a direct and crude signifier of, er, you know. :-)
I'll never forget the time in high school when I came home and told my father that so-n-so was a brown nose. My father jumped all over me for using that term. But I didn't know what it really meant. Well, he told me and I will never forget it.
Good post,
It's interesting to notice some people are offended by the word Goy, as it's basically the antonym of Jew, not anything disparaging.
Of course a tone says a lot behind a use of the word. Any word can be transformed into something negative if used improperly.
It’s not so much words I hate than certain tones using them that I can’t stand.
Well, it appears that goyim has come to mean "no-nothing"...at least that's what *I* understand it to mean. BUT, I probably wouldn't care if you called me one (I am).
I only find words offensive if they're intended to be.
I used to be shocked by the word c*nt when I first heard it. But, it's become much more common now (and was used effectively in "Inside Man" recently) and I'm pretty inured to it now.
It is so good to see you bloggers posting here, and I send you many warm wishes and thank yous.
I do suppose one's intentions and motives are indeed relevant, as they are in all of our acts. For example, some people act and come around only when they can derive some benefit from it, hence it is friendship with strings attached. However, there are some words that, standing alone, to me have no clincial or good meaning other than to insult, disparage or hurt others.
Then you take a word like crazy, nuts, a luny, a nut job. You all know that I am an advocate for the mentally ill. These words have no clinical significance, so to me, like specific diagnosises, such as a person who suffers from depression, bipolar disorder, OCD or schizophrenia. So these words, regardless of intent, just seem to be mean. Being sensitive in this area, many may disagree, which I truly respect.
Hang in there Barbara, things will improve. It’s wonderful that you have been able to spend some time with your family. Remember to be thankful for the time that we do have to share with those we love. I hope you find a little window of peace, if only for a minute.
As to your question… I’ve been thinking it over, and I’m not sure if I can put my finger on any particular word that I find offensive in and of itself (at least, none are coming to mind at the moment).
As others have said, the context and intended use of words makes all the difference to me. There are countless instances where I can recall hearing someone use a word in a derogatory or demeaning fashion, and that ALWAYS bothers me, no matter what the word is. But I’m having a hard time picking out a particular word that I just can’t bear to listen to.
It’s true that many words such as those you listed don’t seem to serve any purpose other than to put down another person. However, again as others have mentioned, there are plenty of times where people will take a cruel term and effectively “make it their own,” almost as a term of endearment (as one girlfriend might refer to another as her b*tch). It doesn't work for me, but it does for others.
I have a really foul mouth when it’s just me and the walls and couple people who know me... I don’t mean that I trash talk other people when they aren't around (I can't stand that), but rather that I love to use all sorts of colorful language when there is no one around to offend.
The point is that I try very hard to think before I speak, and to be conscious of when the words I use might be misinterpreted or otherwise misconstrued to indicate something other than my true intention. I don’t think that it’s self-censorship so much as common courtesy.
Several words bother me. I don't like hearing young men call all women, B*tch or Ho. I told my son, if I ever heard him do that, that he would be banned from the house. It is very disrespectful to women.
I also don't like the N word because it is demeaning to a race of people.
I don't like people who take the Lords name in vein. I don't like the F word either.
no word is taboo, but sometimes they are just insensitive to use...
you can't go around saying the word c@%+ with women around (unless things have become a screaming match)
or n!&&#* unless things are really hitting the fan...
because at that point of hatred why should there be any discretion?
words have no meaning... feelings have meaning... I'm Italian, should I be mad if someone calls me a "dago"? Yes? then why am I not offended by drinking Dago Red wine?
Words are an easy target for people to divert attention from the real argument
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I agree that words can be so powerful, and that intent is important, but still maintain some words, standing alone are not good.
YY - In the Talmud, the word goyim is used neutrally, to mean other nations. Please tell me Tractate to which you refer. This interpretation that you describe sounds a bit new age to me!!
im telling you how the word goy and goyte are used today
its 2006 not 100 BCE
YY,
Your comments make no sense. How can you keep to laws and commandments, which can be argued have little relevance to 2006 today, as described in the Talmud and the Torah? For example, how can you describe turning on a light on Shabbos as work, or tearing a piece of paper as such? This is 2006.
What you say makes no sense at all.
Remember the time you had me call the Rabbi to check something out? He said that you did not know what you were talking about, Rabbi Bick, was his name.
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the truth hurts barb
too bad you cant handle it
GOY as we use it today is demeaning it is used
1. a jew that abandoned religion we call him YOU GOY!
2. a bad gentile is called
GOY or for a female GOYTE
as to mean what do you expect my fellow jew he is a GOY
YY,
If you have nothing better to do than keep posting the same thing, over and over again, showing your lack of education, please be my guest and make a fool of yourself.
You have defined yourself in blogsville as someone who is extreme and somewhat unstable, so if this is the impression you want to give to the world, go for it.
As far as redemption, you have a long ways to go.
I think there are some words that are very offensive no matter what. Then there are others that can be offensive in the way that they are said rather than their actual definition. For example,"housewife". This is not an offensive word. But if someone says..."oh, you're a housewife.." in a certain tone, it can be quite offensive! As for "goyim", i'd heard it many times and thought nothing of it! Then, i looked it up in the dictionary where it was explained to be equivalant to the likes of "kike" or "nigger". But some very nice Jewish friends explained to me that this isn't so!
Actually, a words can indeed hurt people standing alone.
I must confess that because of what YY says regarding this post, it has made me feel less rather than more proud to be a Jew.
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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
YY,
I am going to delete your comments from now on. Please stop posting on my blog.
There are enough people in the world who hate the Jews: we do not have to invest our time hating one another!
Please stay away.
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http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=goy
*cat/pigeons time*
whats the HEBREW for 'non jewish folk'?
Im not Jewish n Im not Russian but i do so love hearing both russian (handily I play squash with a russian who swears rather melodically) and hebrew spoken. Dunno what theyre saying but it sounds nice.
I find it interesting that, here in Australia, the recent migrants can call us whiteys 'skippy' (skippy the kangaroo - tv show) but we have no acceptable epithets to reply with. *shrug* at least not unless we wanna end up in front of some government department. I know my greek mates at school couldnt care less about being called 'wog' as it was not any more derogatory than them calling us anglos 'skip'. Labels dont hurt - people do.
I actually find the word 'race' offensive.
It has no biological standing.
The correct word is 'strain'.
Much as the wacky white sheet wearers hate the idea we are all one inter-breeding population, ergo one species. That there is variety is nothing surprising - 160,000 years of gene drift and random accumulated mutations will do that.If we were talking dogs noone would get upset - there are different strains of wolf, for example. noone thinks the north american timber wolf is inherently superior to the asian or European wolf just because of its location or colouring. silly.
wow
got off topic
sorry
started thinking of ppl typing 'nigger' as n*&*)* whatever. Just not being able to TYPE the word gives it more power doesnt it? And 'cunt' comes from the latin 'cunni' which means 'wedge shaped' which is somewhat apt at least and not in any sense derogatory but rather just a plain old descriptive that got messed with.
N ps if I upset anyone you should look at YOUR prejudices first
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