The Loss of A Pet: From a Jewish Perspective
Almost six weeks have passed since the loss of my beloved dog, Astro. To say that his death has left me in a shattered state, would be a complete understatement. For those who have a pet they love, it will come as no surprise that its passing can leave one confused, saddened, dispondent and deeply hurt. That being said, it is a truly wonderful experience to love and care for a pet, and often these four legged friends can teach even the strongest of us valuable lessons about living, loving, nuturing and sharing. Often our pets allow their owners to learn about love and how to give it to others around them.
Although Judaism does not address specifically the issue of care and concern for our pets, there are many commandments and prohibitions that concern the humane treatment of all living things. Since animals are a part of God's creation, there is an inherent responsibility to protect them, and avoid inflicting unnecessary cruelty and pain on them. For example, there is a Biblical prohibition against plowing with an ox and an ass together, the conclusion reached that since the ox is stronger, it would cause pain to the ass. (Deut., xxii, 10) Moreover, it is forbidden to slaughter an animal and its young on the same day. (Lev., xxii, 28). For me, one of the more important Biblical laws is the ones demanding that an animal struggling under too heavy a load have the burden removed. (Exodus., xxiii, 5.) One of my favorite stories involves that tale where God chastised Jonah for his lack of compassion for the residents of Ninevah, where there were more than six score thousand persons, and also many cattle. (Jonah., iv, 11.)
There are many more examples that can be cited, and surely those well versed in Torah can recite them with greater flare, interpretation and description than I have here for this post. Nevertheless, the point that I am making, and the one that has spoken in the loudest voice to me this day, is that according to our tradition, one must have a sympathetic response to the loss of a pet, since he/she is an entity who, having brought joy to the life of its owner, is deserving of loving care in death as it was in life.
The greiving process that has occurred for Astro has been an intense, and often painful one, leaving me with puddles of tears for each and every day since his passing. Just as the Torah respects life, it is also incombent for those of us to let go, and continue to experience the joy from life. In fact, it is forbidden to stay in a state of dispair, as it prevents one from experiencing the light of God.
So it is with this day, that the spiritual inner healing shall begin, the pain will be released, and diminished and in its place will be the beloved and joyful memories that I had the privledge and honor to share with my beloved Astro.
Thank you, my dearest boy, for giving me almost 13 years of unconditional and true love, joy and companionship. Your memory will burn brightly inside of my heart.
Although Judaism does not address specifically the issue of care and concern for our pets, there are many commandments and prohibitions that concern the humane treatment of all living things. Since animals are a part of God's creation, there is an inherent responsibility to protect them, and avoid inflicting unnecessary cruelty and pain on them. For example, there is a Biblical prohibition against plowing with an ox and an ass together, the conclusion reached that since the ox is stronger, it would cause pain to the ass. (Deut., xxii, 10) Moreover, it is forbidden to slaughter an animal and its young on the same day. (Lev., xxii, 28). For me, one of the more important Biblical laws is the ones demanding that an animal struggling under too heavy a load have the burden removed. (Exodus., xxiii, 5.) One of my favorite stories involves that tale where God chastised Jonah for his lack of compassion for the residents of Ninevah, where there were more than six score thousand persons, and also many cattle. (Jonah., iv, 11.)
There are many more examples that can be cited, and surely those well versed in Torah can recite them with greater flare, interpretation and description than I have here for this post. Nevertheless, the point that I am making, and the one that has spoken in the loudest voice to me this day, is that according to our tradition, one must have a sympathetic response to the loss of a pet, since he/she is an entity who, having brought joy to the life of its owner, is deserving of loving care in death as it was in life.
The greiving process that has occurred for Astro has been an intense, and often painful one, leaving me with puddles of tears for each and every day since his passing. Just as the Torah respects life, it is also incombent for those of us to let go, and continue to experience the joy from life. In fact, it is forbidden to stay in a state of dispair, as it prevents one from experiencing the light of God.
So it is with this day, that the spiritual inner healing shall begin, the pain will be released, and diminished and in its place will be the beloved and joyful memories that I had the privledge and honor to share with my beloved Astro.
Thank you, my dearest boy, for giving me almost 13 years of unconditional and true love, joy and companionship. Your memory will burn brightly inside of my heart.
32 Comments:
OK...I must be going into the first stages of alzhiemers......when I first came to your site, there was a posting about what you do...as in, with other people.
But, there was no comment place, which I've become somewhat accustomed to from you because, well, lets face it. Not everything needs to be commented on...
On the other hand, at a few times these past years of art shows, I've attempted to get money together for something called the Julian Center. It was nice to see we had something in common besides having blogs and loving our dogs.
In any case, coming back, I see this is a time of remembering Astro. What a fine looking dog he is.
Today I watched a fellow named Wayne Dyer (PBS) talk about inspiration and he had many angles on things that were so involved, all I could do was write notes and will meditate on these things later. But, his one statement stuck with me, even though he didn't go where I thought he was going (a good a reason as any to take notes) and it was from my own core belief.
Animals are from the same Creator as we humans. And, in many cases, animals are more compassionate than us, too.
For this, I still cry at "roadkill" and feel very bad about what we call progress....this year more than others. The county wasn't near as quick to pick up the carcasses along the side of the road, here, and at one point there were about fifteen deers lining the road to chuch. OK, I know it's a highway, but, for crying out loud. Texas even raised their roads in a few dozen places so that frogs (yes..) could cross the roads there without being "toasted", so to speak.
Y'know. If dogs were in charge of the world governments, there might be some minor skirmeshes, but, I dare say, war wouldn't even exist. Heck! Let's try it.
Let's put a dog in the White House fopr the remainder of the bush tour. Lord knows, that guy won't get anything good done!
And, we all know it's time for me to leave now before I "go off" on that jerk again....
(See? There I go...)
I lost my Chester on October 5. Just this week I adopted a rescued Boston Terrier pup. I was apprehensive but that disappeared when I brought him home. I will endure the trials of puppydom gladly, grateful for having him in my life.
See Bunny here.
Love from Mr. Hell's Kitchen and the Devil Dog...
I can't imagine life without my little guy and I get sad just thinking about it... and he's only 2 and a half years old...
Mourning and grieving is good for the soul!
Peace.
You are so lucky to have had Astro for 13 years. My kids and i lost our lovely dog after having her for only two years. I found her as a puppy, shivering in a cardboard box on a snowy day. I held her and cried on the day some awful neighbor shot her with a bb gun. I rushed her to the vet after she had been poisoned. She knew how to play tag and hide and seek with all the neighborhood kids.She would really hide!
Then, one day, she was just gone. I still cry about her and i still look for her everywhere i go...I am positive that animals have souls and unique personalities. They also make the best of friends. So sorry for your loss.
I adored your previous post about strong people. I wish you had left it posted.
Yes, Astro was a wonderful dog!
A...I put back the do the strong survive post for you...
I had to reorganize, as I want to make room for the pictures of my Astro!
Thank you for the kind words.
There is a TV program dealing with animals that have been abused. I can't watch it. It hurts me too much. I am the same way with news about child abuse cases. I turn off the TV or switch channels. It is too painful.
Barbara, I hope you will reach the point where you decide to invest that love you have for Astro in another dog perhaps one that you have obtained from a rescue group. We got our collie from Collie Rescue. We love him so much and he loves us too.
Animals do have a very special place in our hearts. When TF and I bought our first house we got a black lab as our first dog. He was such a cute puppy and he grew to be a big ole lovable dog. He had such expression and he was a jewel of a pet. One night several years later, he somehow got out of the back yard and got hit on the road near our house. The woman that hit him came crying to our door and instant fear griped my heart. To make a long story short, he didn't make it. At that time, I didn't know how attached a person could get to a dog. My heart broke and I cried for a time. I eventually got over the loss and we got a new black lab puppy. That dog chewed on everything.....what a handfull he was. Since then we have had several dogs and we loved each and every one.
I tried to email you on your last post, but it asked for your email address and I didn't know it so I couldn't email.
I think we all get to a point in our lives where we just say, "I give up".... The question is..."Then What?" A friend of mine was struggling through some heavy problems and said she tried to give up and a little vision came to her that said, "You can't quit...Then What?" She realized that she just had to truge on and never give up. It might be hard but you just keep going. Good luck!
Check out my last post, there is another one that would fit.
National Geographic did a piece a few months ago on the chemical basis of love. The premise of the article was that the hormones involved in sexual attraction (e.g., testosterone) are different from those involved in attachment (e.g., prolactin). As I read it I thought, "Well, duh -- anyone who's ever loved a dog (and not had sex with it) knows that."
The love you felt/feel for Astro is as real as the love you've felt for any human, so the grief is as real. Life will move on but he'll always hold his very own place in your heart.
Scott W -- congrats on Bunny. He's adorable. I love BTs!
Well, I woke up this morning and put my focus on the memories I had with Astro, and the joy he brought us, and did not think about his death.
On a side note, we went to a concert last night, and heard a wonderful performance of the Beethoven Piano Concerto No. 1.
actually a person is forbidden to eat before he feeds his animals
Why is that, YY?
its a verse in devorim
god says
if you keep the mitzvos i will feed your animals and you will eat and be satisfied the talmud says that this verse teaches us that a person must feed his animals before sitting down to lunch
i think all the grieving and the different feelings you go through are all meant to help you heal.
all the love you had for astro will still be there and you'll probably find there is even more to share with another pet, who you can lavish love on.
it's funny how i relate with my girlfriend losing her spouse and with you losing your pet -- the love still remains, but there is still plenty more to go around.
elsa, yes, these feelings are a step towards healing.
You know, YY: on Shabbos, when after the Hamosi, I would give my beloved animal a piece of Challah before eating it myself. Based upon your description, I was acting in accordance with Jewish law.
That being said, I truly believe that the animals being referred to in the Talmud were those who were used for working (see Shabbos laws of rest also applying to the animal kingdom, Exd., XX, Deu. v, 14.) Maybe for domesticated animals it may be different, but I can live, and actually love your interpretation much better.
Our Chatham cat will be 19 years old in June. We know that his time with us is limited (how my eyes water up at the thought!) - he gets a pill every morning and we have to "hydrate" him every few days. He has lost a pound since last November, which is not good. But he still gets around and uses his litter box. He can still get up on the couch and bed to be with us and purr. His eyes are bright and intelligent. We are extra protective of him and watch him more closely than ever for signs of distress. We will be heartbroken when his time finally comes.
AHA! It ain't the alzhiemers at all... It's posted next. I think the strength that you feel may hve left is not gone at all. It merely manifests itself differently at times. That way, you don't get a big head about it and all.
Now, ,as for feeding the animals first, well....THIS is a necessity at the place I live 'cause they're pretty much all "chow hounds" as I call 'em, and if we don't feed 'em first, they sit and drool at us (eeuuww, yeah, I know...)
But, due to the fact they eat like starving ravenous wolves (and believe me when I tell ya, they've no reason to eat like that as I dose them with wonderful gravies and treats and such) and then, whether or not we're done, they're on us, anyway. And then we give them treats....
Is this also against the written word?
In their defense, though, all are excellent dogs in their own right and all are very nice to floks they meet.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4776181634656145640
an address to an extra nice entertainment, brought to your doorstep to make it a little nicer (i hope) (don't let yer husband get too jealous over nothing, though, as I'm going to take it around to other sites of folks, too.) :)
This is not about pets. It is about your previous post on strength and the criminal justice system.
You might find this an interesting update on the nature of drug use: Is Addiction Real?
Here is another for insight into what police deal with: Police and PTSD.
I never owned a pet so cant really empathize, but it's true that kindness to animals is mandated by the Torah. It’s acknowledged that they have feelings and it's wrong and prohibited to hurt animals needlessly, even 'emotionally' so to speak.
There's also a commandment in the Torah to send away a mother bird before taking her eggs.
prag
in talmud it says whoever says that god commanded to send away the mother before taking the eggs was out of pitty..........
you know the finishing i guess
You are going through so much pain, and it saddens me a great deal. I give my dog BoBo (who's 3) an extra hug and kiss whenever I think of Astro. It's funny how certain dogs will affect you and others will not. My other dog, BugEyes, means very little to me.
Im so sorry to hear of your loss, I had my first dog for 17 years it was one of the worst things ever to go through.
Barabara..
As someone who has never had a pet of that nature..its difficult to relate to this loss....
I wish you comfort and joy...
It will be 2 years since My Salty(dog) has been gone....I still have bad days....It's amazing the memories you shared....and remember at such odd times!!!
Have a great day!!!
YY-you're right, and I didn't say that but the fact remains that it's a kindess to the bird mother.
didnt read this post or any of your blog, just commenting to let you know that i absolutely adore your blog title :)
Thank you all for your kind thoughts, and religious wisdom.
Sabra, welcome to my blog, and thank you for the compliment!
It's so hard to lose a beloved pet. It can be very hard, in part, because many people just don't understand. I was just crushed when Eixnihps Garfield Pez died in 2002... very few people really got it.
Astro was really special, and it's a huge loss.
I'm glad that you're honoring Astro by finding the light in life whenever and wherever you can. Dogs are so good at that!
Letting go begins with acceptance and we can only begin to accept ones demise after the shock lifts.
Take care and grieve with love.
Thanks for sharing~
You mentioned your loss before. It is painful to heal from.
dogs are gods greatest gift to man i reckon
Just found your blog for the first time......have now added it to my favorites.....this post was particularly touching (including all the comments) because I lost two beloved cats in just a few months of each other.....both 20 yrs of age....and made an entry in my own blog after the loss of the 2nd...animals are such a blessing to us....loyalty, devotion and unconditional love...... I've had many and unfortunately lost many... but the memories are wonderful!.......may your pain be eased soon.
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