What Happens When Life is Getting Too Much In Your Way?
Not usually a negative person, but one who sees the glass half full rather than half empty, is grateful for the gifts in my life, believes in a God, I must confess that the personal and public happenings during this last year, have been enough to shake someone even as strong as myself.
Beginning with the illness of my daughter, the death of my father, the illness and sudden passing of my cousin (last week), the death of my dog, some physical problems that I have been experiencing which need to be addressed, the sudden, unexplained death of a client, whom I was working with closely, on Mother's Day, and the pain and suffering my aunt is experiencing, having to bury her daughter of 47 years, it is the case that this has been a deeply painful year for me. Yes, life is in session, but does there have to be so much personal pain and suffering? Be mindful, I am only referring to the events that have happened in my ownlife, and if coupled with all of the global hardships over the past year, from the antics and hostility of the President of Iran towards the Jews and the Americans, the genocide in Dafur, deaths from the hurricanes and earthquakes, it is enough to make someone stand up and ask some rather pointed questions.
Each one of us surely has his/her own moments of sorrow, of personal pain and suffering, and yes, to some extent, it is all so very relative, which is why when I begin to feel sorry for myself, I read all about the Holocaust and look at what so many people had to endure to stay alive, and how many senseless deaths came to pass. No explanation will ever be sufficient to justify this horror that occurred in our history.
So, is it fair for me to ask God to lighten the load, even just a bit? Do I turn to Him for comfort and support even though one sorrow keeps on building upon the next, with the passing of each and every day? Does fear replace faith at some point? Does the path get narrower as we get older?
To say that God does not give us more than we can handle provides little comfort to me, to be candid, as I would surely rather be a weaker person, and have less tragedy in my life.
Please do not think that I have nothing to be thankful for, as this is certainly not the case. My daughter is doing well today, my son comes to visit us (the night of 5/22), I now have a job I love, and we are looking forward to our trip to Israel in August.
Is it too much for me to ask for a bit of peace, even a small sliver just for a short while?
Thank you for your minds.
Beginning with the illness of my daughter, the death of my father, the illness and sudden passing of my cousin (last week), the death of my dog, some physical problems that I have been experiencing which need to be addressed, the sudden, unexplained death of a client, whom I was working with closely, on Mother's Day, and the pain and suffering my aunt is experiencing, having to bury her daughter of 47 years, it is the case that this has been a deeply painful year for me. Yes, life is in session, but does there have to be so much personal pain and suffering? Be mindful, I am only referring to the events that have happened in my ownlife, and if coupled with all of the global hardships over the past year, from the antics and hostility of the President of Iran towards the Jews and the Americans, the genocide in Dafur, deaths from the hurricanes and earthquakes, it is enough to make someone stand up and ask some rather pointed questions.
Each one of us surely has his/her own moments of sorrow, of personal pain and suffering, and yes, to some extent, it is all so very relative, which is why when I begin to feel sorry for myself, I read all about the Holocaust and look at what so many people had to endure to stay alive, and how many senseless deaths came to pass. No explanation will ever be sufficient to justify this horror that occurred in our history.
So, is it fair for me to ask God to lighten the load, even just a bit? Do I turn to Him for comfort and support even though one sorrow keeps on building upon the next, with the passing of each and every day? Does fear replace faith at some point? Does the path get narrower as we get older?
To say that God does not give us more than we can handle provides little comfort to me, to be candid, as I would surely rather be a weaker person, and have less tragedy in my life.
Please do not think that I have nothing to be thankful for, as this is certainly not the case. My daughter is doing well today, my son comes to visit us (the night of 5/22), I now have a job I love, and we are looking forward to our trip to Israel in August.
Is it too much for me to ask for a bit of peace, even a small sliver just for a short while?
Thank you for your minds.
20 Comments:
it says in all the sefarim
the more a person suffers on this world the greater will be his reward in the world to come that is the reason why tzadikim embrace pain and suffering, for they know how it will increase their portion in oilem haba
as it says in parshas v'yeshev bikesh yakov leishev b'shlava...
Yes...it's fair.
They say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle but that doesn't mean we can't turn to him when we hurt. I'd go as far to say that asking may be exactly what we are supposed to do.
You may still have the same load to carry but the act of thoughtful prayer can be enough to help you shoulder it.
I am not a fan of the "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" axiom. I believe that we are dealt certain, random cards in life and that we can grow from these most difficult times.
I know what a difficult year this has been for you. I hope the bad stuff is behind you. Much strength, Barbara.
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.
This indeed has been a most difficult year...I just wish there were more sunshine daily, here, in this life, at this moment.
Listen Barb,speaking purely from my own experiences,a little self pity and spiritual exhausten is perfectly understandable and normal.
Life is heavey on the heart a lot of the times,but that is how we learn to balance and share ourselves with the human race,by dealing with these things.
I appreciate your delicate way right now.I hope you will find something a little extra relaxing for yourself during this time.
I know life can be overwhelming at times and that is when you need to really take the time to seek serenity when you can.
I wish you peace my friend Barb,
you have a big heart that has been
working a lot of overtime.
Thanks for sharing ~
Dang! Girl, you live in the best state in the union (Hawaii would count better but it's an island, and that sux) have weather most in the world would dearly love, you already mentioned your family and friends,...what else do you want?
Don't want to cast any bad jnx on ya, but, for crying out loud. Let go of whatever soap opera ya think you wanna be part of, and enjoy life. Real life!
You got life. Food. Shelter.
Don't fall into the reasoning of some who would have you believe you must suffer. Suffering comes with life. The laughter is a response to the tears. The joy is a response to the (real or imagined) hatred. Do what you can to help others be happy and fulfilled and you, too, will feel happy and fulfilled.
But, you already knew that, didn't you?
Yes, I do have much to be greatful for in my life, and I do not take any of it, not one moment for granted.
It just seems as if I have had a string of very painful and difficult times this year, and I want them to go away for awhile. Although I am a strong woman, this past year has been a true test of my limits.
Thank you for those who posted with such caring and beautiful thoughts. I truly, truly appreciate each and every one of them, from the heart.
Each night, before I go to sleep, I give thanks for what I have, that will not ever change. Nevertheless, I have noticed that my serenity seems to be slipping a bit here and there.
Thanks for listening.
Yes, it is fair...expected even to ask for a lighter load. Do not feel guilty for asking.
WW
You know....one thing that keeps me going when something bad happens.....and I start getting down and feeling it....I always think to myself....Somebody else has it ten times worse.....I guess my Mother got thru to me on that....She used to say at the dinner table when I wouldn't eat...There are children straving and they would give anything to have that plate of food!!!
Stay strong....only sending you the best!!!
Indeed, everything is relative. However, it does not do, for me, to look to the misfortunes of others and feel grateful by comparrison. It is far too easy then to look to others more fortunate, perhaps undeservedly so, and feel envious.
I don't believe God "gives" us tradgedy no matter how extreme nor do I believe He provides windfall either. He gives us choices - how my world is depends directly on my relationship with it. It comes in the understanding that as long as I'm sucking wind, I'm doing ok - I must however, believe it or I will be miserable.
Easier said than done, no doubt. And I am certainly not preaching for I am no beacon of enlightenment - I do not live by these precepts, especially when the going gets tough. But it's when the going gets tough that I have the opportunity to get back to basics. It is easy to have faith when everything is going well, the challenge - and the gift come from keeping that faith when the going gets tough and to remember that no matter what, it's going to be ok.
I am not even close to there yet.
~Mike
I am not sure we can ask anything of God or the universe. What ever comes, comes and we must deal with it or not. The only choice and control we are given is how we deal with it and how we choose to feel about it.
At the risk of sounding bovine, I found life much easier when I just started dealing with it and quit raging against it or worrying about it. It is not perfect, but most days I have a calm mind and effective responses
This is why I love taking life one day at a time.
You see, I woke up this morning, our son was here, visiting for 10 days, my daughter is studying for an exam, I see all these inspiring comments, and I know that, now, at this very moment, nothing can be all that bad.
Thank you to everyone!
Barbara, You have a lot going on in your life right now, some good and some bad. You are on a roller coaster and you see the thrill of the top and the sadness of the bottom. I'll bet that you would rather be on the roller coaster, than on a merry go round. Life on the merry go round is the same, day in and day out. Boring! Do you learn anything from the Merry Go Round? I don't think so.
No one ever said that life would be easy. Actually it is one of the hardest things you have to do. I am so glad that I was born in the USA and not one of the third world countries. We have it made here and many times our struggles are nothing compared to millions of other people.
Yes, you have had a bad year. People that you love have died. You lost your precious Astro. There is upheval all over the world. Life is a challange, no two ways about it. One thing for sure is, we will all die. Sometimes those we love go quicker than we wanted them to. Many times when it rains, it pours. We all have those challanges in our lives.
To stay sane, you have to constantly count your blessings. Know that you will grow from your hardships.
My daughter had an accident last Saturday. An 18-wheeler made a turn, from two lanes over, and hit the side of her truck. I asked her if she was hurt, she said no. I asked her if the truck was drivable, she said yes. I told her to calm down and be thankful that it wasn't worse. Now she will just have to handle all of the hassles of getting it fixed. Now she will just have to "carry on".
I love ya Barbara and I know you have been thru a lot, but it is time to "carry on." Maybe it is time for you to take a break and get away for awhile. Take a weekend away; away from phones, and TV and anything else that reminds you of home. I like going to the mountains or the sea shore. Nothing like the sound of waves going in and out to put life into prespective.
Good luck, Barb.
Lucy,
I am glad to hear your daughter is alright.
You are such a kind, warm woman, thank you so much!
I do count my blessings each and every day, believe me.
Rushing off to work now....
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I think what doesn't kill you just gives you post-traumatic stress disorder. :-)
No, it's not too much to ask for some peace. You've endured so much loss lately that you're in "What's next?" mode. Or, more grimly, "Who's next?" mode. The ground feels shaky under you because you don't know what's going to give way next; all the good things you take for granted seem threatened now. Of course you're scared. And tired. And overwhelmed.
It sounds like you could use a spiritual retreat. I'm so glad you'll be going to Israel.
{{{{{{{{{{{{b}}}}}}}}}}}}
I have been so consumed by sadness myself that I can relate to your post. Not only do I see the glass half empty, but I expect it to crack when I'm not looking and spill the contents all over the place. That is the space I am in right now. I am actively trying to get out, but it is a slow climb up hill.
I think it is fair for you to ask your god to lighten your load. You may not get what you want, but if you ask for it, there is a chance you might get it. On the flip side, is there a possibility for you to ask yourself to lighten your load? Could you ask yourself, "Just for the next few moments could I think of stepping outside of my sadness, and feel hopeful?"
This is what I am trying to do for myself. I can't do it consistently, but it keeps getting better a little at a time. Hang in there, it will get easier.
Ask, and Ye shall receive.
Theodicy is of course the most ancient of questions just one before tje question of anti-semitism comes up. So its appropriate to ask those sorts of questions, but it is equally important to know that you aren't going to get much of a satisfactory answer. But YY has it right- and that's the most comforting answer that I know, even if I don't entirely believe it myself.
Thank you all for your kind words and comments.
Today, I am waking up, counting my blessings.
So many times we hear people say "Ohh, he was so lucky that he only lost one leg because of the accident". I say that's not luck at all I say. But what if because of that he's no longer in the "rat race" and can spend more time on his wife and children.
I believe (look who's talking indeed) that it is all up to you to take advantage of it or dwell in self pitty.
((((((babs))))))
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