The weight of Thinking
I had this strange feeling when I woke up this morning. We all can relate to that horrible feeling of impending doom, looming over us like one of those large birds, circling and spinning about. Surely, many of you have experienced it: the one where you feel weighted down by your own thoughts, as if something has gotten hold, pulling you down like eight hands of an octopus. No particular reason, just the weight of our own thinking keeps us from ourselves and the experience of life as it is. (I think perhaps I should start re-reading my own inspirational posts.) This can be an unhealthy experience. Granted, the cause of these rumbling may be of my own making, to a large extent. Deciding that I wanted to look very good for our son's graduation this weekend, I went on one of those liquid only juice diets for the past two days. Combined with fanatic exercising, where even more calories are shed, it is amazing to experience those strange visions and revelations that can result from being deprived of food. (not necessarily in a good way either.) Fear, uncertainty, worry, despair can result. Literal light-headeness is overrated and a heavy brain can be the kiss of death!
The first order of business today, and I will keep it simple: eat a meal. Be mindful, that true beauty, even with my own exaggerated sense of vanity, comes from inside, and if that is the 'face' that I want to present to the world, that is the one that must be nourished, and in this case literally so.
When the weight of our minds begins to become so heavy that we cannot see what is before us, it is time to make a check list, at least for me, on what makes me greatful, starting with what I take for granted.For today, our son's graduation, our daughter's good health, Israel to celebrate its 57th birthday on May 14th, and, although this may sound trite, the sounds of the garbage trucks I hear outside.
Thank you for your minds.
The first order of business today, and I will keep it simple: eat a meal. Be mindful, that true beauty, even with my own exaggerated sense of vanity, comes from inside, and if that is the 'face' that I want to present to the world, that is the one that must be nourished, and in this case literally so.
When the weight of our minds begins to become so heavy that we cannot see what is before us, it is time to make a check list, at least for me, on what makes me greatful, starting with what I take for granted.For today, our son's graduation, our daughter's good health, Israel to celebrate its 57th birthday on May 14th, and, although this may sound trite, the sounds of the garbage trucks I hear outside.
Thank you for your minds.
10 Comments:
Barbara, I don't like thinking too hard--as you know.
B,
I know exactly what you mean. I do so much self-examination, it's often hard to balance *living* with the act of reflecting on my life. I think way too much, which is a big part of my insomnia - I can't shut my brain off sometimes.
I get that "impending doom" feeling sometimes, but it's balanced for me by days where I wake up and feel like something wonderful is going to happen. That inexplicable optimism, almost a tingly feeling, makes the gloomy days tolerable :)
I hate it when I wake up and my brain is too heavy for my neck to support!
My solution? Sit down with a cup of coffee and a muffin and watch Roxanne. (Yes, the old Daryl Hannah/Steve Martin one.)
Brain candy always works for me!
Seriously though, please try to go easy on yourself. Brain overload combined with a liquid diet? Not healthy.
Thank you all for your kind words.
Trina, I am unable to access your blog. Is there something special that I must do? (perhaps the powers of the Pope can be of help here!.)
Good ideas godless mom!
Barbara! Just yesterday you were thinking that it's what's inside that counts, and today you tell us that you've been dieting to extreme! Say it isn't so.
tan lucy,
It is the inside that counts the most, but the outside is important too, at least for my son's graduation.
However, live and learn. I may be a bit thinner, but feeling unsettled, and lightheaded.
THE GOOD NEWS: I did eat some fruit this morning! Starting to become stronger again.
Thank you for reminding me what is important!
Absolutely, R.
Remember when LBJ, (I believe it was him) said, "I come to you with a heavy heart." Well, to me the kiss of death is coming forward with a heavy brain.
Godlessmom hit the nail on the head!
My insomnia stems not only having to go to bathroom, but thinking TOO much - like Trina sez, I can't shut off my brain.
In my case, my "impending doom" feeling is usually that I'm convinced that I've forgotten to do something, or are unprepared for something I need to do. Comes from volunteering waaaay toooo much.
Despite the title of my blog, the brain, can at times be an over rated and heavy organ!
Must remember to employ and devise a proper weigh and balance system (in my case, literally.)
Waw Barbara, its good to hear that someone else also woke up with the feeling of "impending doom". Seriously what is that!!?? I've never had that feeling before-- and I AM eating regular meal... and try not to have any heavy thoughts...
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