Judging Other Jews
As we get ready for Tisha B'av, the day, of mourning, many thoughts are circling inside my mind. For those of you who do not know, this is a sad day where Jews mourn their expulsion, and the tragedies that fell upon the Jews after the destruction of both Temples as well as their explusion from Spain in 1492. They fast, and the Torah is draped in black to symbolism this period of grief.
There is another type of tragedy resulting in grief that I am thinking about as we get ready for this solemn day. That is the grief that exists in modern society where one group of Jews judges, condemns or berates another group because he/she happens to be different from the other. For example, it is no secret that I am not Orthodox, but I have experienced many negative comments and remarks from these blogs that I have posted on. Just the sight of my name stirs up people to make comments that are judgmental and unkind, and one woman, whose blog I post on, treats me like a footnote, bypassing anything I have to say no matter what it is.
I have absolute respect for the Orthodox Jew, as I understand it takes much dicipline and focus to live one's life by such rules and commandments. Nevertheless, it seems as if the same courtesy is not extended to those who chose a less pious path, at least by many I have encountered in blogsville and in real life. On the other hand, I have met a handful of people who are truly respectful and kind to those who are different from themselves.
What does it say about us as a group of only 14 million when we begin to judge one another this way? Is this an internal kind of expulsion, only worse than when the Temple was destroyed, since we are harming each other with our words rather than our swords? What is worse? Who is to say that a man or a woman, for example, who is born a Jew, whose mother is Jewish, according to Jewish law, but that he/she is less of a Jew because of not being observant, or even being an athesist, if that is the person's choice? Is this a form of exile in the worst of all possible manners? There must be something in one of those 613 mitzvot that speaks out to the issue of it being forbidden to judge and condemn one's fellow countryperson. Feeling exiled and annihilated by one's own people is the worst of all possible sins, in my opinion. Of course, there is the whole issue of the disengagement in Israel, where this very type of situation arises to an actual physical expulsion, but a verbal one is and can be just as bad, in my opinion.
As we get ready for this solemn day, let us learn to stop judging others, especially our fellow Jews. Let us strive for unity among one another rather than division. To destroy the heart and soul of another Jew is like destroying the Temple.
To those who are fasting, have an easy fast.
EDITED: In the spirit of unity, and out of deep respect for my friend, aaron at
http://jewishissues.blogspot.com/, I am opening up this post for comment.
He has a broader message in his post today, that we should learn to accept, and not
judge others regardless of what color or who they are. He is indeed a great inspiration, and I embrace his words fully.
There is another type of tragedy resulting in grief that I am thinking about as we get ready for this solemn day. That is the grief that exists in modern society where one group of Jews judges, condemns or berates another group because he/she happens to be different from the other. For example, it is no secret that I am not Orthodox, but I have experienced many negative comments and remarks from these blogs that I have posted on. Just the sight of my name stirs up people to make comments that are judgmental and unkind, and one woman, whose blog I post on, treats me like a footnote, bypassing anything I have to say no matter what it is.
I have absolute respect for the Orthodox Jew, as I understand it takes much dicipline and focus to live one's life by such rules and commandments. Nevertheless, it seems as if the same courtesy is not extended to those who chose a less pious path, at least by many I have encountered in blogsville and in real life. On the other hand, I have met a handful of people who are truly respectful and kind to those who are different from themselves.
What does it say about us as a group of only 14 million when we begin to judge one another this way? Is this an internal kind of expulsion, only worse than when the Temple was destroyed, since we are harming each other with our words rather than our swords? What is worse? Who is to say that a man or a woman, for example, who is born a Jew, whose mother is Jewish, according to Jewish law, but that he/she is less of a Jew because of not being observant, or even being an athesist, if that is the person's choice? Is this a form of exile in the worst of all possible manners? There must be something in one of those 613 mitzvot that speaks out to the issue of it being forbidden to judge and condemn one's fellow countryperson. Feeling exiled and annihilated by one's own people is the worst of all possible sins, in my opinion. Of course, there is the whole issue of the disengagement in Israel, where this very type of situation arises to an actual physical expulsion, but a verbal one is and can be just as bad, in my opinion.
As we get ready for this solemn day, let us learn to stop judging others, especially our fellow Jews. Let us strive for unity among one another rather than division. To destroy the heart and soul of another Jew is like destroying the Temple.
To those who are fasting, have an easy fast.
EDITED: In the spirit of unity, and out of deep respect for my friend, aaron at
http://jewishissues.blogspot.com/, I am opening up this post for comment.
He has a broader message in his post today, that we should learn to accept, and not
judge others regardless of what color or who they are. He is indeed a great inspiration, and I embrace his words fully.
9 Comments:
It is sad that some times we are hardest on our own. I am not jewish, but the observation applies accross many groups.
"judge not lest ye be judged" is a powerful maxim to live by. Unfortunately, those most in need of using it are the ones with the hubris that prevents them from doing so..
Great post, I am glad you opened it for comment
Well-stated, Greg, and thanks, Barbara, for this particular entry in your blog. Do not think that your thoughts here pertain only to dissention among differing groups of Jewish people.
In my own religion, uber-conservatives and left-thinkers collide on a daily basis, people in the middle don't say much at all, and the extremes won't even consider listening to the other side.
Maybe I am guilty of this to some extent. Thanks for a bit of food for thought today concerning my own level of tolerance for people who don't think the way I do.
Great post, but it is easier said than done. The first step is acknowledging the common bonds. I think the Orthodox at times look down at the other branches of Judaism. But on the other hand, less "religious" Jews stereotype the Orthodox as well, thinking of them as remnants of an earlier age. I don't think the debate about which is the more 'authentic' Judaism will ever stop, and I don't think it should. But it should be respectful.
Patti makes a point in that jugement of others who have different levels of awareness of piousness is not something unique to Jews. As a Jews, this is the only group I can speak about, and most of my comments have been limited to blog posters.
One blogger, a religious woman, says that she wants to do write her blog her way, which her absolute right. But in the same vein, be respectful, kind and courteous of others who decide to do it their way as well. More often than not, what happens, and I have had personal experience in blogsville of this, is that if you do not do it their way, you are shunned, berated and spirned as if you are some outcast. This results in Jews being divided not divided.
Neil makes a good point about secular or non-religious Jews making horrible comments about religious Jews as well. Sometimes I hear my own family talk about 'those people', and remind them that they are 'our' people and have a right to express themselves and practice their religion in whatever way that they feel compelled to do.
As we mourn all of the tragedies that fell on the Jews this Sunday, let us not remember that an equal tragedy occurs when we fight each other.
Barbara, as always your posts are very meaningful and heartfelt. You are absolutely right, one of the most important mitzvos id Ahavas Yisroel, loving a fellow jew, simple because he posesses a Yiddishe neshoma regardless of where youy perceive him to be on the spiritual ladder.
Wishing you a very meaningful T B-Av
Barbara,
The judging is irritating but it something that we will continue to encounter.
I think that one of the primary things that we can do is learn how to be secure with who we are at whatever level of observance we choose.
I pray for all of my fellow Jews to unite.
here's a lovely site
onemovement.org
the philosophy page talks about unity.
shalom
Hi Barbara,
May I know when the Tisha B'av is? Is it today (Sunday, Aug. 14th)? I'm not Jewish though I do respect your beliefs and I try to find common ground. =)
I've only started reading your blog, but I'll surely come back from time to time.
Wishing you a meaningful feast day -
Sunnyday
Amen
Welcome sunnyday and Jack Shack.
Today, Sunday, is he actual day of Tisha B'av. It is a day to fast, to feel the mouring of the tragedies that have befallen all of the Jews.
May you have an easy fast.
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