Why Jews Turn Away From Judaism
As you can see from these contenious comments, there are a few Jews who continue to be degrading, mean and hostile towards one another. Somehow, they think that by their actions, they are calling an individual to action, to be more observant,when in reality, they are turning them against the very idea and cause that they seek to embrace.
My original post sought to honor those who perished during the Holocaust. Since there remain a few who have no respect for others, including those who died during the Holocaust, and demean and defile their names, by nasty, unnecessary comments, I am changing this post, and the post to honor and commemerate those who died during the Holocaust will be posted above, as a loving memory.
Because of these nasty comments, and the actions of these few below, I feel as if I want to be less of Jew rather than more of one. Have you heard the saying, be careful what you wish for? If this is an example of being a good Jew, then I would rather turn away from my own people. All my love that was beginning to surface from my religion, has begun to decay. Beginning this Friday, I will no longer be lighting Shabbath candles.
Thank you for your minds.
My original post sought to honor those who perished during the Holocaust. Since there remain a few who have no respect for others, including those who died during the Holocaust, and demean and defile their names, by nasty, unnecessary comments, I am changing this post, and the post to honor and commemerate those who died during the Holocaust will be posted above, as a loving memory.
Because of these nasty comments, and the actions of these few below, I feel as if I want to be less of Jew rather than more of one. Have you heard the saying, be careful what you wish for? If this is an example of being a good Jew, then I would rather turn away from my own people. All my love that was beginning to surface from my religion, has begun to decay. Beginning this Friday, I will no longer be lighting Shabbath candles.
Thank you for your minds.
38 Comments:
Barbara;
Congrats on your year anniversary!
I can tell you that I have learned more of Jewish culture from you than in 40 years of life! Thank you!
T
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jeez, your friends never heard of it? it must be made up... Learn
To my fellow bloggers:
Please excuse the comments of the few, disturbed, people who come here to demean the memory of the Holocaust. What is most disturbing, is that these individuals are themselves Jews, who come here to be unkind to another Jew (a chihul HaShem).It is my opinion that most of them speak from an extreme position, and are known as the Satmar. As you saw, during these last few days of Yom Tov, neither YY nor cubanita have been around.
There are some who come to the blog, as they do in the real world to be unkind, demeaning, and nasty. I will continue to delete their comments.
Nevertheless, please do not forget to honor those who perished during the Holocaust.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Thank you, Bohica & TM for your kind words. Bohica: Thank you for the link. I have a fantasy of you beating this YY (Cubanita) into a pulp.
A Jew who asks, where did this holiday come from: I have not ever heard of it, which was YY's question. At the time the Torah and Talmud were given to Moses, there was no Holocaust of which to speak.
And while we are on the subject, let me ask, where was God during the Holocaust? Why would he allow 6 million of His chosen people to be exterminated, and countless others to suffer such horrific acts at the hands of the Nazis?
barbara
how do you observe this fake holiday?
on every high real yom tov we recite kel moleh rachmim for all jews who died to sanctify gods name
It was my intention for this post to honor those who perished during the Holocaust. It still is to be the case. For those few Jews, who chose to be nasty, antagonisitic, and in my opinion defile and degrade those Jews who died during the Holocaust, this is a true tragedy and shame.
Someone once commented that I hate Orthodox Jews. I have defended them in the past, since this is an environment that I grew up in. I can honestly say that today, these Jews who post here, cubanita and YY, make me ashamed of my people. In fact, they have turned me away not towards my religion, making me want to be less and less of a Jew, as they will define it. Nastiness, meanness, and fighting words do not set any kind of good example for a person. If you do not know that by now, look at all those who have turned away from Judaism.
cubanita isnt jewish barbara.
whats the halacha how does a jew observe this day>?
Barbara, Bless you for observing this day. It doesn't matter if it is a holiday that is a part of the Jewish culture or not. The holocaust was real. It was terrible. And it could happen again. Probably not to Jews, but to some other group.
I don't understand this business of leaving comments that are mean-spirited.
can anyone enlighten me how do we observe this holiday
noone knows?
barbara its better you dont light candles friday night because you light it after the zman its a grave sin lighting shabbos candles at that time
Wow! you opened up a can of worms.
Religion can be so pedantic & stuffy.
Geoge Bernard Shaw said, "There are scores of thousands of human insects who are ready at a moments notice to reveal the Will of God on every possible subject."
ultrafrumguy
well said!
Well, the can of worms has always been opened, they are just crawling out now, with their fangs sharpened,that is all.
Thank you ultrafrum guy for your words and voice of support. It seems that YY (cubanita) are clearly not among the mainstream Orthodox Jews themselves, from what I have witnessed, and interpret the Torah in a very radical way.
Here is my question: if you have Jews, even religious ones today, going onto porn websites, chatrooms, seeking out extra-marital relationships, lying, cheating, does this not constitute sin? Should one infer that, God forbid, another Holocaust will surface because these individuals are turning away from God? What did the poor Jews in the stedils do to deserve such horrific punishment, that resulted in the extermination of 6 million of them, and the horrific suffering of countless others?
Here are all the comments posted by cubanita (YY) and subsequently removed. Let everyone see what nastiness I have been subjected to on this post, please:
eshet is an ugly chassidiche girl. who wants a picture of her?
I know i can be mean. but I will never pretend to be BETTER than anyone.
I cant stand SNOBBY people like you eshet.
okay so she doesnt know better than you light 10 minutes before. so instead of insulting her about it. TEll her how to light the candles and what to say. Instead of being such an ass yakov
eshet chayil, i was being nice to you. but since you think you are better than everyone. i am going to say what i want to say to you. You think you are better than everyone. well face it you are 2o turning 21 and you are still not married. And you think you are more "better" than everyone.
if you are so jewish and religious and chassidiche, go offline eshit chayil. you dont see me going to chat rooms.
I do think your friend is nice and has a good heart. But i wont say the same thing for you eatshit. you think you are better and above everyone and you are not.
no one is perfect. and no one is 100 percent right when it comes to observing. I guarantee you didnt keep pesach correct and I know 100 percent that you never read the pesachim tractate.
so stop comparing yourself to every jew and pretending that you are better than everyone.
whatever, people tried to stop me from conversion and i didnt stop. and i have a satmar rebbe who is my rabbi. and I am more "jewish" than you will ever be barbara. LOL. keep on lighting candles. even if i make fun of you. I dont want you to stop following mitzvahs. I apologize. I would rather you continue and try your hardest to be more religious. if you can be more religious i will stop teasing you. Okay?
eshet chayil, i was being nice to you. but since you think you are better than everyone. i am going to say what i want to say to you. You think you are better than everyone. well face it you are 2o turning 21 and you are still not married. And you think you are more "better" than everyone.
if you are so jewish and religious and chassidiche, go offline eshit chayil. you dont see me going to chat rooms.
I do think your friend is nice and has a good heart. But i wont say the same thing for you eatshit. you think you are better and above everyone and you are not.
no one is perfect. and no one is 100 percent right when it comes to observing. I guarantee you didnt keep pesach correct and I know 100 percent that you never read the pesachim tractate.
so stop comparing yourself to every jew and pretending that you are better than everyone.
I'll be nice. May you please tell us how you observe yom ha'shoah?
--
Sing-a-long to Gwen Stefani's Banana song)
It's Chillul Ch-i-ll- u-l
It's chillul Ch-i-ll-u-l
Is that a threat? do you want to hurt me?
Stop asking why G-d did what he did. You should never question G-d's actions. I told you, Jews sinned, so the holocaust happened. DEAL WITH IT. I bet no one in your family was directly affected by the holocaust.
tmelendez, if your biggest achievement (sp?) is learning about the Jewish culture from Barbara you are in deep shit.
As for Yom Ha'shoah, how do you observe this holiday? When you dont even observe yom tov?
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it's funny how this loser, cubanita, doesn't even have a blog... only an account used to launch their cyber-terrorism
Hello Barbara,
I too am thankful for your blog, and enjoy reading your thoughts, and the opportunity to make your acquaintance online.
Thank you for taking a moment to honor the memory of those who were lost during the holocaust, as well as those who survived.
It is a shame that others feel compelled to leave non-constructive, mean, or otherwise cruel and often purposeless comments on your blog. To each of them I send the sincere hope that they will one day learn to express their disagreement in ways that are respectful and intelligent. They may even do well to simply meditate on the concept of "agree to disagree."
While I cannot help to stop such comments, I will offer you this:
I appreciate your honest voice online, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Your perspective is valid and valued.
Barbara, I clicked over to your site from Becky's, following your comment there. I have only read the posts you have on your front page, but I say don't give up your rich heritage just because of a few who are too extreme.
I am not Jewish but my Christianity has it's roots in Judaism - we worship the same God. All religions seem to have their extremists, those who think that only their usually very narrow interpertations of the Holy Word (whatever they call it) is The Way and any others are totally wrong. I think over history much ill has been done in the name of God by people of this type.
Again I say, don't give up what you hold dear, just because of them.
Barbara,
These are trolls. Not worthy of acknowledgment. It doesn't matter if they are Jews, tho they bring shame to our tribe, if indeed, they are Jews.
There is a section in morning prayers where we ask the following:
"Save me from vicious people, from evil neighbors, and from corrupt companions. Preserve me from misfortune and from powers of destruction. Save me from harsh judgments; spare me from ruthless opponents, be they members of the covenant or not. "
At the end of the Amidah, we conclude with :"Help me ignore those who slander me."
This is what I love about Jewish prayer- It acknowledges that sadly, members of the tribe can be utter assholes, vicious, destructive, negative and trollish. No one is entitled, by birthright or belonging, to bully and get away with it. And if it happens with someone who claims to be "religious" it makes them all the more pathetic, ridiculous, and a "chillul Hashem", a blight on G-d's name.
They are trolls first and foremost, who are using your Jewishness against you. The only way to deal with internet trolls is to ban them, delete them, ignore them. This is YOUR blog. You are the host. And you are the boss. They really have no power, right?
Sending you hugs. I've been where you are re: Jews, trolls, and "Jewish" trolls. Draw a line in the sand, know your boundaries, and don't put up with that crap. That is your right!
http://members.aol.com/intwg/trolls.htm
And lighting candles really is a beautiful and spiritual experience, don't you think? I find it to be a real gift, from G-d and no one has the power to take it away from me.
Indeed, if I were the only Jew left in the world, I would continue to light candles, cause everything changes when Shabbat descends- it's a taste of eternal delight. And even tho we are blessed to belong to the Jewish people, we belong to G-d, first and foremost. And candle lighting gives us the means to express that connection. And to do it Jewishly.
Barbara, I’ve been thinking a bit more about your post and what’s been happening at your blog. I just can’t imagine looking in and finding such unpleasantness waiting for me in the comments.
Have you considered possibly moving your blog, and starting fresh, providing your new location by email only to those visitors who have a track record of speaking their mind respectfully? Perhaps it would take a bit of work to do so, but it might alleviate some of the persistent unkindness.
While I realize that might not really be something you’d like to try (and I really can't guarantee its effectiveness), I would suggest not reposting those unkind comments in the future. Like you, I find them completely distasteful, often immature, frequently hurtful, and sometimes stomach-turning. I feel that in some ways, reposting those comments or allowing them to stay visible only empowers them. Just hit that friendly little delete button, let out a sigh of relief, and say a happy little “be gone!”... I’m sure it’s hard to shake those words once you’ve read them... why not just get rid of them, and don’t read them again?
Finally, I wanted to respond to your comment about ceasing your practice of the lighting of the candles for Shabbats. To start with: I feel strongly that you must do what feels right to you, whatever that may be. If this ritual is not right for you, only you can know that, and I’m a strong advocate of being true to oneself. :)
I myself am not Jewish and therefore have only a general understanding of the significance of the Shabbaths for the Jewish people. However, might I recommend that you try something different? Instead of ceasing this ritual all together, perhaps you could allow it to evolve with you and your own growth, spiritual and otherwise.
If you are seeking the inner strength to find happiness, to forgive, to let go, to grow, to understand, or to simply be, then meditate on those thoughts and feelings in your ritual. Adjust the ritual to suit your needs, feelings, and intentions.
Rather than allowing it to be a symbol of something which is stuck and frustrated, perhaps you could invoke it as a tool of change and empowerment, and use this ritual as a means by which to find whatever it is that you seek, even if that's merely a small space of peace.
Sending you good thoughts,
JLB
Barbara, perhaps another way to help resolve the situation would be to use comments moderation. I know it might slow the conversations a little, but I believe it would be a worthwhile solution.
That way, you could simply delete all comments by users who are disrespectful, and then you wouldn't even have to read them at all.
Lather, rinse, repeat. :)
hey cubanita, how about us heathen non-believers of anything that would love to kick some ass "Old Testament" style?
You're the kind of punk that hides behind the net... One day you'll be in it... remember the people you poke from the shadows, they'll be the ones taking great pleasure in eating your soul... lol
FYI
I didnt write those comments its just an evil lie from dilusional barbara
Wow, these posts give new meaning to the phrase "holier than thou."
B, please beware of the perils of letting just anybody post on your blog. The other day I witnessed this foul man screaming obscenities at his dog for pulling too hard on the leash. The leash broke and the dog bolted; those of us in the parking lot (outside PetSmart) tried to corral the dog. The guy started screaming obscenities at me when I rounded up his dog. We all stared at him in amazement; he was such a vile person.
In real life you'd NEVER associate with someone like that; indeed, you'd do well to avoid them because they're dangerous. You'd also brush off their comments as the rantings of a seriously disturbed person. But online, the same kind of people earn your respect and patience. I admire your egalitarianism, but I think there are times when it's totally okay to say, "Okay, this one doesn't get my time, respect, or patience." The ability to type and access to a computer don't make irrational people rational. Please be careful.
Hey, I think its great that you are doing your best to observe the shabbos as well as you can. Keep it up.
As far as the "non- existent" holiday of Yom Hashoa is concerned. You can remind people that it is observed in E.Y. with a complete cessation of all activity for 6 minutes.
For those who complain that it is not a torah holiday, neither is Channukah. Lots of innovations in Judaism came after Moshe Rabbenu. He certainly didn't speak Aramaic, and yet we say Kaddish.
Don't let the trolls get you down. And btw, I've blogrolled you.
Be well.
Actually, something good has surfaced from these comments: As you can see, not all Jews are assholes, nor radical, nor evil. In fact, there are some very good comments here from pious individuals, such as ultrafumguy, barefood jewess, and amishav. The others, I think you can see, come from a space of mean-ness, negativity and unkindness, which may be the result of the way they have been brought up, or they could have been sexually or emotionally abused. That being said, I am happy that some beautiful words have come from my fellow Jews, and I thank you for your support.
Additionally, I really appreciate the care JLB and Winterwheat have taken to try to help me reconcile, and manage these trolls, or unkind people. I think ultra-frumguy says it best, that if these people are Jews, they are doing us no favors.
You go Bohica! I knew you would be the knight in shining armour, and I wish you could sling a couple of punches at these loosers. David, welcome, and thank you for your comments.
At the end of the day, we all have to look at ourselves, our acts, what we say, what we do not, and take personal responsibility for ourselves. Sometimes, people do not stop being mean until they hit their own emotional and painful bottom. I am uncertain what it takes for this to happen.
What I have learned here in blogsville, is that not Jews are so wonderful. In fact, some can be so cruel, and evil, that they truly turn others away from the very ideas that they want them to embrace. It makes me think that this is how they learned to be a Jew: through unkindness, meanness, degregration and put-downs by family and teachers. How pitifully sad that is.
Amishav, I did not know about the 6 minutes of silence in E.Y...What a beautiful exercise to remember...The commemeration ceremony today reminds us that we must never forget those who died at the hands of pure evil, who were made to suffer, unnecessarily, and consequently we must cherish and honor their memories....
jsirpicco,
I am glad you 'outed yourself.' This is the kind man who has been saying Kaddish for my father since her died on July 14th of this year.
What this means, is that he goes to shul twice a day, and says a special prayer on behalf of him.
This is a perosn I met here in blogsville, and his kind offer came from a good heart and soul.
Blessings to you and your family, as always.
On the issue of whether the Holocaust was brought on by the Jews themselves because of their sins.
There is are two books that deal with this issue very intelligently: ONe is by Elie Weisel called The Trial of God, and the other is by Rabbi Harold Kushner, when Bad Things Happen to Good People.
Kushener's point is that sometimes there is pure evil in the world, and to conclude that God would want such suffering to happen to so many of His people is questionable. Sometimes there is no explanation for such horrors, and to blame it on God can be offensive. Why would God want 6 million of his chosen people to suffer so horrifically, 2 milllion of which were innocent children? If anything, it has weakened the Jews, in some ways, by the decrease in numbers, although we have been strengthened by the creation of the state of Israel from those ashes of the Holocaust.
Wisel takes a more pragmatic view, puts God on trial, finds Him guilty, and lets the Jews continue with their daily lives as always.
ultrafrum guy
Thank you for the explanation of how religious Jews think. I imagine most religious people, be they Jews or Christans or Muslims, justify all actions according to God's will.
It is a hard pill for me to swallow, that God's chosen people deserved such torture, suffering, and extermination.
This is my opinion, and I hope it can be respected, whether you agree or disagre.
Dear Barbara
I am so sorry for what I see here. I have never disrespected your word or ideas. I like that you, a woman, have enough guts to post what you believe in. I fear that notion, sometimes, but only because I don't want to hurt some people's feelings.
('Course, and I'll betcha you can relate to this, others I could give a rat's behind for. Eh?)
The good news is, I respect any decision you make about what you believe in, but, there is bad news, also.
The bad news (which actually ain't so bad) is that you are still in the CREATOR'S heart.
When conversing with whoever the CuBaNiTa person is, I suggested that all life on earth was Jewish.
(yes, even the hitler guy, but, man-o-man, I sure wouldn't want t'be in his shoes when the GREAT I AM is doing the talking...)
But, it's not a hate that GOD is throwing down on any of us.
Why would I say us when you spaek of the holocaust?
I think that anyone who lives in America should know that we dang near did destroy a peoples from the earth. Absolutely we (no mouse in pocket. If "we" live here, "we" are co-conspirators) DID erradicate some tribes forever. Many were just coraled into concentration camps (where they are STILL today) and though we feed them and clothe them, it was nothing shy of a travesty.
December 29 should also be a date on our calendars. I think it was December 29, 1894 (though I ain't sure of the year for sure) that union troops marched a bunch of homeless, unarmed indian women and children and old men into a ditch and shot them to death.
It is so sad I cannot help but to be crying even as I write this now. And just as the Jews in Germany, the less thought of Jews in Russia at the same time and for a half century after, and the Japanese families and children living in Hiroshima and especially the families living in Nagasaki (because THAT bomb was dropped so that we could SHOW the communists that we could repeat ourselves) And even now, while millions are starving to death ( some 317 of them right here in the US every day) our stupid government wants to spend 400 billion on a war that we don't belong in, and the local-yokel newspapers are all clamoring over the price of feul rather than the degradation of human life....
No wonder you just want to shut your door and close the curtains and never look outside again, unless someone you trust tells you about a pretty sunset...
I do, too, want to go dig me a hole and hide. But, I won't.
GOD put me here, and I don't know the purpose, but I do know that I will continue to try to find it.
And, though I use the bible (new and old) to help me find my center, and would use also the quaran for the same if I knew how to read arabic, I wouldn't believe in THEM....
I, rather, believe in the CREATOR, and everything else is just words in the wind. I am just words in the wind. And, though I love ya dearly, are also, just words in the wind.
But, some are more beautiful than others.
Yours are the flowers of spring.
Thankyou.
Barbara,
Theodicy, the quesioning of why evil is in the world, is as old as religion itself. Kushner and Weisel are good places to start, but as you know, there are no easy answers.
You might also want to look at the book of Job- it's very powerful- and for an even more intellectual discussion you could read D'rech HaShem by the RAmChaL. It is available in bilingual English/Hebrew editions and was translated by none other than Aryeh Kaplan- one of our greatest contemporary teachers of Torah for Americans. His books are great- look him up.
I don't know where you live but many shuls are having a Yom Hashoah sevice tomorrow night. You might find comfort in being with a group of like minded people. But don't stop there- also go for Yom Haatzmaut- Israel independence day/ Yom HaZikaron- Israeli memorial day- that's on May 2nd. The proximity of Yom Hashoah to Yom HaA. and Yom HaZ. is helpful to make the bridge between the nightmare of the Holocaust giving way to the great rebirth in E.Y. Its very uplifting to participate in those events. Check your local community bulletin board services, or give a local synagogue or JCC a call.
Best of luck to you.
A.
Thank you, Amishav for this invaluable information.
I am aware of such events taking place tomorrow, on the actual day of Yom HaShoah, and also have a flyer for the Isreael Independence Day activity.
God willing, we will make it to Isarel this year.
I don't mean to be critical, but why are people referring to this somber memorial day (Yom HaShoah) as a holiday, as if it were a time to rejoice? I know holiday gets its root from holy day, which is appropriate when remembering these blessed souls who suffered so much, but holiday sounds all wrong.
Barbara, please don't give up Judaism, for in doing so you will be giving up Hashem. Hitler and his armies persecuted Jews (and anyone who assisted them) because they brought light to the world. He wanted to destroy that light.
Please don't give up shabbat either! Do it in memory of the creation of the world, and the wonderful blessings, peace and rest to come once the world is completed and made whole.
Another truth,
It is not a holiday, but a Day of Remembrance.
Barbara,
For such a talented writer I am surprised to read your reaction to the comments. What does the actions of others have to do with your relationship to the Creator of the world? In my latest post I address the issue of allowing others to control our emotions. Let me know what you think.
It is the case, as many have mentioned, that the candles are light for God, not for other people.
My point, however, should be understood clearly: we can, in our own ideas about how people should approach religion, be so fanatical, that we can turn someone away from the very basics that should be embraced.
Hi Barbara,
You have to do what feels right to you, but in the end I would hope that you don't allow a few people to sway you.
We all have our way. The reality is that there are very few black and white lines and many shades of gray.
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