Let my People Go...
Over the past week, I have been making an effort to interact with more Jews in blogsville. Living in an isolated, and primarily non-Jewish neighborhood, I have craved, actually longed for contact with those from my own religion. There is this void that I crave to be filled. When I stumbled upon a group of blogs created by Jews, I was delighted. I thought that I would learn something, and be able to interact, even share about something that was very important to me. To my complete surprise, quite the opposite was true. Let me say there are various levels of Jewish affiliation, some measured by the level of religious involvement, and the ones I discovered were considered the most religious and righteous. When I began to post, many unkind comments were said about me, and false assumptions made, until I left feeling as if I had been beaten up and left to die. After Shabbath was over, one of them made amends to me, and when I began to post on another's blog again, I was ignored, and even put down once again. With the exception of one kind soul from Israel, I was left to feel unwelcome, uninvited and unaccepted.
Here is my issue (as this post is just for me to write for clarification) People become attracted to one another by setting good examples. By setting an example of harsh tones, anger and mean-ness, nobody wants to go there by choice. Maybe to be compelled there by one's family is different, but to make a lifestyle attractive, the people must make one feel welcome and that what they have to offer is something to be desired. This was far from the truth, at least for me.
Today, I feel sad. Not because I leave my people, which is something I would never do. I love being a Jew and feel a great responsibliity to my people and the State of Israel. I feel as if my people, have, to a large extent, turned their back on me. They have let me go...
Thank you for your minds.
Here is my issue (as this post is just for me to write for clarification) People become attracted to one another by setting good examples. By setting an example of harsh tones, anger and mean-ness, nobody wants to go there by choice. Maybe to be compelled there by one's family is different, but to make a lifestyle attractive, the people must make one feel welcome and that what they have to offer is something to be desired. This was far from the truth, at least for me.
Today, I feel sad. Not because I leave my people, which is something I would never do. I love being a Jew and feel a great responsibliity to my people and the State of Israel. I feel as if my people, have, to a large extent, turned their back on me. They have let me go...
Thank you for your minds.
17 Comments:
Hi Barbara,
Sounds as if you have been rather cruelly treated.
It is completely natural to want to make contact with like-minded people..we all do it every day, sometimes without realising it.
However, think you just met a bad lot there.
They have done the ` A stranger comes to town` bit there. Unfortunate to say the least.
Positively tribal.
This is the kind of attitude which causes problems.
However, there will be others out there who will welcome you with open arms, you just haven`t found them yet. Just because these particular people are self-richeous and stand-offish doesn`t mean that other groups will be.
Anyway...their loss!!
Barbara,
I have had similar experiences, although not in religious circles, rather, in the feminist community. (Which is a religion to some =)
For years I read about how feminism is a "sisterhood" and read one feminist after another wax on and on about the "exlempary" and "fantastic" womyn there are in the feminist world. But when I (attempted) to involve myself in feminism, specifically the feminist movement here in NH, I was shunned, ignored, insulted, riduculed, and purposefully left out. It left a bad taste in my mouth and now I refuse to involve myself with feminist activities if they involve the womyn who I've had past dealings with.
I know this isn't the answer but until a new crop of womyn sprout up, I am not going to waste my energy with womyn who are ungrateful for my skills and strenths (not to mention my weaknesses).
Your sitution, as I see it, can be changed by changing the blogs you read. Some great Jewish ones that I read daily are Jerusalem Syndrome and Velveteen Rabbi. Hopefully you'll find the community you're looking for.
I'm so sorry Barbara that you have been treated poorly by those who should love you the best.
But, of course, you know that it doesn't mean anything about Jewish people in general. Those who said unkind things were speaking just for themselves, not the Jewish people.
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts.
I see not all my people are willing to let me go, which makes me happy! Thank you especially to itsllhitler'sfault and yidisshemama for these great blog sites, which I promise to check out.
Barbara, I'm sorry to hear this. It made me sad. I hope you are able to make some positive connections (I'm sure you will).
Not to be needlessly unkind, but perhaps it's YOU.
(((((Barbara)))). There are so many jerks in the world. They come in all religions, races, cultures, ages, shapes, sizes, genders etc. I know you will find good hearted and like minded people soon. Don't let the bastards get you down.
Zibozid, it was gratuitous and needlessly unkind. I'm sorry you felt the need to express it.
cynic,
Please see the post I just put on MG's board. I do not make fun of insult nor offend another Jew in public NO MATTER WHAT. We are hated enough by the outside world, and do not need to hurl barbs at each other.
Aside from my own blog, which you've already discovered--welcome aboard!--here are some blogs that I hope you find interesting that are written by non-Orthodox Jews:
http://apikorsus.blogspot.com/
http://www.baraita.net/blog/
http://westernjew.blogspot.com/
http://www.matzahandmarinara.com/wp/
http://velveteenrabbi.blogs.com/blog/
And here are some blogs written by open-minded Orthodox Jews who'll welcome your comments:
http://outofstepjew.blogspot.com/
http://psychotoddler.blogspot.com/
http://renegaderebbetzin.blogspot.com/
http://houseofhock.blogspot.com/
For politics, both general and Jewish, I recommend this father (Canada) and daughter (Britain) blog, http://bloghd.blogspot.com/
For life in Israel, in addition to the aforementioned
http://outofstepjew.blogspot.com/, I also recommend http://allisonkaplansommer.blogmosis.com/
and
http://bogieworks.blogs.com/ (warning--heavy on the politics)
If you want to do some heavy-duty studying, check out http://www.hirhurim.blogspot.com/, but don't expect to be able to keep up unless you had a very thorough Jewish education. I, for one, was not so lucky. I've never posted a comment on Hirhurim because, given my limited Jewish education, I sincerely feel that I have nothing to add to the discussion.
If you should happen to disagree with a blogger or a commenter, just express your thoughts in a respectful manner, and you shouldn't have a problem on these blogs.
I have had mostly good experiences in the Jewish blogosphere, but one does occasionally run into a rotten apple (see my Monday, June 06, 2005 post, "The responsibilities of being a Jewish blogger: Chaverim Kol Yisrael" at http://onthefringe_jewishblog.blogspot.com/2005/06/responsibilities-of-being-jewish.html#comments). Just don't let one rotten apple spoil the whole bunch. Happy surfing!
Oops--so many blogs, so little time. I forgot to mention another non-Orthodox blog, http://barefoot_jewess.blogspot.com/
Barbara,
I just discovered that you have a blog! I've exchanged comments with you on my page, but did not know that you published as well.
Again, as I told you on my blog, there are some very immature and insensitive bloggers out there. Please know that not all of us are like that. I know that you've read all my postings, and I hope that you do not view me in that category.
Again, you are always welcome on my blog, and I look forward to exchanging ideas and thoughts with you.
MG
(Obviously I finally got your blog to come back -- must have been a glitch on my end.)
This makes me sad that you experienced this. I can tell you that it happens in Christianity, as well. I have been experiencing it especially today, too, and am so frustrated with a few "men of God" that I could just spit into the Red Sea!!
Just as it saddens me that Christians get painted with a broad brush of opinion based on the antics of a few, it also saddens me that your love of your religion and your 'people' has been bruised or injured by those people whom you love.
I wouldn't speak into a family about discord within their ranks, and it isn't my place here either because I have no idea of the particulars about which you speak. But I can tell you honestly that from our blogging friendship that I think you are the 'real deal' and you are welcome on my blog anytime. (Not the same, I know...but you are always welcome nonetheless.)
Many thanks to all for your heartfelt comments and the great websites you have provided. I have checked out a couple of them, and even signed up for one so far.
In this instance, I am happy to be wrong, and see that my people have not let me go. Thank you again.
HEY ZIBZOB, one should be brave enough to leave ones real name after a comment like that , awfully condesending dont you think, or mabey you dont.
But on the other hand if you feel insecure enough to leave such a comment then I suppose thats OK!
By the way ZIBBOZ my name is Joe Boyle and I come from Glasgow as you will see from my web sites.
You still live in a Democratic country and you should feel secure in leaving your real name with little comments like that.
Sorry about the pass thru Barbara, and off the cuff comment, but open debate is a healthy thing, when it is a voice in the shadows it can be very dangerous.
yiddishe mama,
There is a place where you see blogger.com. Click on that box. It will then tell you to create your own blog. Follow the simple directions. If you have a problem, please let me know, and I can email you and walk you through. It is very easy, honestly.
I make no comment on how you were treated as I was not there. But you have not always treated me so kindly.
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