Love in a time of Worry
Many of you mention that when you write your feelings down, many different reactions can occur. It can walk you through your own pain, anxiety, lust, desire or ability to think, and consequently, see reality for what it is. So, I am going to try this and see where it will lead.
As stated, our son is in the Middle East. He decided to venture out of Israel and go to Turkey, where he flew from Tel Aviv to Istanbul. From there, he took a long bus-ride to an exotic city called Cappordocia, lined with fairy tale caves and castles. A truly magical place, according to his email. Yesterday, he went on a 17 hour bus ride to a another place in Turkey, where he was to experience the beauty of the coast. Usually, he sends me an email or calls afterwards, but I did not hear from him yet.
People who know me say I have a vivid and wild imagination, but as you will see, this is not always such a great bonus. Today, my imagination is in full swing. Sometimes, I think, rather than the field of law, I should have gone into forenics, or better yet, become a mystery or screen writer. In one senario, a gang of terrorists seizes control of the bus, demands that all of the passengers hand over their belongings, ties them up and flees.Those poor passangers are left, stranded without food, water, or means of communications. In another, the bus, which must navigate many long, winding and unstable roads, has had some difficulties in reaching its destination, or G-d forbid, has had an accident and there is no where to find a telephone to call for help. In yet a third scene, a band of rebels decides to kidnap the passengers on the bus, holding them at gunpoint, demanding ransom and tickets fleeing the country. Do you get the picture?
My head, that matter between the ears, can be held in the jaws of fear, and consequently be the creator of such horrors that there are, at times, no room for peace. This does not change, by the way, because one's children grow and have their own lives. In some ways, as they become more independent, and fixated with their own lives, they take more risks, and as a result are put into situations where there is potential for harm and danger.
Of course there is a solution, at least for me, and that is to let life unfold as it must, and to trust that G-d is watching over my son and taking care of him as should be, and that all is well.
Thank you for your minds.
As stated, our son is in the Middle East. He decided to venture out of Israel and go to Turkey, where he flew from Tel Aviv to Istanbul. From there, he took a long bus-ride to an exotic city called Cappordocia, lined with fairy tale caves and castles. A truly magical place, according to his email. Yesterday, he went on a 17 hour bus ride to a another place in Turkey, where he was to experience the beauty of the coast. Usually, he sends me an email or calls afterwards, but I did not hear from him yet.
People who know me say I have a vivid and wild imagination, but as you will see, this is not always such a great bonus. Today, my imagination is in full swing. Sometimes, I think, rather than the field of law, I should have gone into forenics, or better yet, become a mystery or screen writer. In one senario, a gang of terrorists seizes control of the bus, demands that all of the passengers hand over their belongings, ties them up and flees.Those poor passangers are left, stranded without food, water, or means of communications. In another, the bus, which must navigate many long, winding and unstable roads, has had some difficulties in reaching its destination, or G-d forbid, has had an accident and there is no where to find a telephone to call for help. In yet a third scene, a band of rebels decides to kidnap the passengers on the bus, holding them at gunpoint, demanding ransom and tickets fleeing the country. Do you get the picture?
My head, that matter between the ears, can be held in the jaws of fear, and consequently be the creator of such horrors that there are, at times, no room for peace. This does not change, by the way, because one's children grow and have their own lives. In some ways, as they become more independent, and fixated with their own lives, they take more risks, and as a result are put into situations where there is potential for harm and danger.
Of course there is a solution, at least for me, and that is to let life unfold as it must, and to trust that G-d is watching over my son and taking care of him as should be, and that all is well.
Thank you for your minds.
14 Comments:
Of course there is a solution, at least for me, and that is to let life unfold as it must, and to trust that G-d is watching over my son and taking care of him as should be, and that all is well.
Or, you could lock him in the basement. *wink*
I read your posts about your son's travels and I'm so f'n envious. I want to travel the world, see all the places I study in history. I want to be one of those people who goes to war torn areas, areas of extreme poverty, place where I can get weird diseases to see how the majority of the world's population live. I want to realize how lucky I am. I want to smell the smells and tastes the tastes. Oh to have the money to travel!
Your son is an explorer--it's an attribute--flame his fires as much as possible. Think of how Columbus' mother must have felt. Your feelings aren't much different than hers must've been.
Lock, key, blindfold, and some devices to stay put...
My son is very lucky to have been able to go to Israel as part of a group sponsored trip. From there, he was on his own, and used his graduation money to travel. I did give him money to buy stuff in Isreael to support the economy...Let us see what he brings back!
Thank you, niobium for all your kind words and thoughts.
and honey, breathe deep. and let us know when you hear from him. xoxoxo
I understand your concern, of course, but imagine how his world is opening up right now. What an incredible journey he is on! He will return home changed for the better (not that there was anything wrong with him, but you know what I mean!).
And I say it's time to start your mystery-writing career! Why not? It might even help you focus that energy into something creative rather than into worry. Worrying is normal but it can become overbearing. Come on, Barbara, write a bestseller so that I can say I "knew" you back when!
Barbra, You're lucky.
When I ran off on my first trip abroad, alone, at the ripe age of 18, I didn't think to call my parents when I arrived, or when I changed cities, or much at all... except when I called to tell them that I had missed my flight and was staying longer. (I did send them postcards, though.) As Meegan said, I was just having so much fun and so excited by my first taste of the world that... well it sliped my mind.
After that first phone call I did realize that my parents might want to know that I still had all my fingers and toes and did call more regularly... but I never got the time differences right. My father never let on that I was always calling at 3 in the morning.
Now days I stick to e-mail to let people know that I've arrived and what the situation is. I always found it took quite some time to locate a reasonable phone card, activate the system and find a phone booth that could make intenational calls. E-mail can be simpler... find a computer with internet access.
Cheer up- your son will call. A lack of communication does not indicate a lack of thought (of you). Worrying in no way aids your son, nor yourself. Just be glad that I'm not your child- now *that* would give you something to worry about.
Being trapped in Central NH, held hostage by $20,000 of credit card debt, not to mention a 30 year mortage on an 700/sf mobile home on one measley acre that we got soaked for buying for $80k. F'n envious doesn't even cut the amount of jealously I feel for yours son's ability to travel.
Just buying a 6 pack is a luxury for us. And yet I know that I'm better off than most of the world population.
You ladies are most kind.
I did put my time to productive use, and was able to search the place where he was staying. Apparently, the area is isolated, with a treehouse, and not many places for phone or internet use.
nico,
thank you especially for your words from the point of view of someone who has been there, and done that.
barbara - i can understand your worry (i too have a horribly vivid imagination) but i feel sure he is ok...but do let us know when you hear from him
me, i am worryng about my son today and he's right under my nose! he's coughing away - today is supposed to be really bad for pollution and he has slightly weak lungs...so we're staying inside with the curtains drawn and the fans blowing to stay cool
UC
x
thanks, uc...No word yet...I have been up since 4:30 am too, which does nobody good, but worrying is not rational.
I hope your son feels better. Having him under your nose is a good thing.
B,
Your son will be just fine. He is an experienced traveler, and was probably unable to find an internet cafe in that part of the world he was travelling in. I know that as a mom you worry, but try not to! I believe that we ALL have Guardian Angels to watch out for us, and one is watchiong over your son right now.
Hugs and blessings to you!
A
Hey Barbara,
I've been absorbed in my own little world for a couple days, so I'm sorry to be weighing in late on this.
But I understand your worries. I think that thinking people are especially beset by them, and it's a tough problem to control.
It's gotten better over the years for me. Maybe, with any luck, it will get better for you, too.
Not to make you worry any more, but if it makes you feel any better, I would worry too.
Have you heard from him yet? Please let us know when you do...I completely understand a mother's worry.
Hi Barbara,
It`s the most natural thing in the world to worry...he`s your son, and you love him dearly.
I`m sure he`ll be alright, he`s travelling, and probably loving every minute of it!
My mum, used to worry when I was that age too...where was I going...how was I getting there, who was I going with...and would I phone when I got there..!!
Occasionally, when travelling, it wasn`t always possible to phone..connections would be late, couldn`t get to a phone easily..all sorts of things!
When I didn`t phone, she would have been sitting by the phone feeling anxious.
Bet your mum did that too!
He sounds as if he is an experienced traveller, I`m sure he`ll be alright.
Let us know when you hear from him.
As of Thursday, 3pm, I still have not heard from our son.
Paschat, I know that you know this region, and thank you for your kind words of reassurance. I will let everyone know when I hear something. Meanwhile, I am busy reading the Turkish newspapers at this end just for some peace of mind.
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