No Words

Whenever I go to visit my daughter, it feels as if a little bit more of myself dissolves. Seeing her ill, without improvement, at the moment is a state for which there are no words to describe. Dealing with the illness of one's own child, her flesh and blood, brings about a pain that has no perspective, and in reality is one for which there are no true words to describe. This is something that I cannot write about, cannot do to fix, fight or make better in any way, a true sense of powerlessness coupled with frustration and suffering. Always expected to be the strong one, knowing how to deal with so many situations that arise, this is one circumstance where there are no answers to be had, no solutions to be found, and a time where Barbara cannot fix the problem. I feel completely helpless. For today, all I can do is cry, and cry and cry, and accept that this what is now, in this moment.

Thank you for your minds.