Can Feeling Bitter Turn Us Into Acting Better?

Over these past several days, I have been feeling discontent and bitter, even angry. It is because my expectations about how others should act have not taken place. My daughter is ill again, and despite my sending emails to family and friends, many have remained silent. Does this mean that they do not care about her, the family or me? What can we do, to better ourselves, when others disappoint us in some way or another? Can being bitter help us grow into being better human beings and make us think and ultimately act differently? Who benefits in the end?

In Judaism, we are commanded to judge others fairly. In fact, the Talmud promises a devine reward to those who judge in a merciful manner. What does this mean in terms of how we process the actions and thoughts of others? For me, it means that one should acknowledge virtues even in those whom we may dislike and do so without mentioning their distasteful traits. Our own opinion of the person may be inaccurate, and ultimately, the action we expect may have nothing to do with us.

Being grateful for any act, whether it is large or small is a blessing. There may be times when I forget this myself, often wanting more rather than being thankful for what others have given me in the past and the present. In fact, each day, since I have been feeling bitter, so as not to forget these good acts, I write down at least one favor or act of kindness extended to me, no matter what it may be. Afterall, to some extent, gratitude is rooted in memory more so than expectation. Additionally, it does not hurt to do good deeds for others. Being motivated by the act of kindness rather than receiving something back for oneself is, of course, the best of all possible outcomes, but ultimately, an act of kindness is of great benefit.

Many who know me say that my writing is a gift. This blog is now going to be a means for dealing with my own inner feelings, and if the words I write can help someone else to feel good, or to make him/her think about someone or something in a different way, then I too will be greatful. It is now time to have it serve that purpose for myself, and these words that I inscribe today are with the hope of transforming my state of mind from one of bitterness to betterness.

Thank you for your minds.

How Does One Deal With Burden, Pain and Suffering?

Each one of us, at one time or another, has had to deal with an unpleasant situation, often resulting in heart-wrenching pain and causing one to personally suffer. Some of us may ask the proverbial question, 'why is this happening to me,' as if there is some scheme or define plan directed at each of us thereby making our misery purposeful and personal.

My own experience is that this is part and parcel of living. No one among us is immune from pain, grief, unpleasantness or even suffering. Some of us, in fact, may have had more painful moments than others, whether they be dealing with a death, an illness, a lost opportunity (in the job market), a failed relationship or expectation. The manner in which we deal with our misfortunes, is key to how we live, and come to appreciate our own lives, and ultimately, deal with our own pain.

As I mentioned in my post below, my daughter is ill once again. Seeing one's child suffer is truly the worst of all possible pains, opening deep wounds, and making one question everyone and everything around her, and ending with the quintessential and proverbial question, 'why'? Some may question one's faith, beliefs, and ask if G-d is angry at me, as if there is some master plan in place directed at us personally?

For me, all of us, each and everyone will experience pain and suffering at some point in our lives, but it is the manner in which we deal with it that ultimately gets us through each day. For me, as many know by now, I love to write, and putting my thoughts, emotions and feelings into words often results in clarity and enables me to personally walk through my own pain, resulting in resolution and reaching the other side. Ultimately, I turn to G-d, and trust in Him. These past few days, I have oddly found myself praying for others ( even people whom I do not like or feel resentful towards, knowing that this must take extra effort and willingness), and doing good deeds for others in an effort to be taken outside of myself, which often allows one to walk through pain in the best of all possible ways. Additionally, I remember to count my blessings, to look around me, be thankful for all I have, family, friends, a good job, a nice home, even being able to take a breathe each and every day.

As many of us face the holidays, let us replace fear with faith, focus on what we have to be thankful for, rather than why we are sinking in a puddle of misery.

Over these past few days, I have found much comfort in a piece of music written by Sergei Rachmaninoff called, The Elegiac Trio in D minor. The piece, which was a tribute to the composer Tchaikowsky, is rather dramatic and large in form, and the ebbs and flows lead to a rather tempetuous quality in music style. Mostly, the emotion of the piece deals with loss and personal grief.

Life, is it not, is a great gift, and so long as one is able to take a breathe, there is hope.

Thank you for your minds.

Counting One's Blessings When Faced With Adversity

At this time of year, we are told to be extra vigilant about counting our blessings, being thankful.
For me, as for many, one can learn to take something that seemed to be a given for granted, and forget, or eliminate our duty to be thankful for all blessings that we are given each and every day, even when faced with adversity or a painful situation. After all, this is that special time of year when we are to give thanks, and pay attention to our blessings.

Personally, although the year got off to a rocky start, I have had a very good year, and am thankful for each and every good day that G-d has allowed me to have, taking nothing for granted, and trying to be thankful for the most basic of all things, including a moment of good health, a quiet heart and a peaceful mind.

Going to Israel this year was a great gift, one which will not ever be forgotten, and it ranks as one of the most amazing and life-changing trips of all time. Seeing our daughter graduate college, another great gift, one that took tenacity and perserverance in spite of on-going health issues. Seeing our son have a job he loves has also been a marvel, having a wonderful husband, a job I love, even more for which I am thankful. Moreover, I am truly blessed with some amazing friends, men and women who are there, present and available no matter what happens.

For today, this moment, it seems as if life is in session once again, and our daughter's health is not at its best, which of course causes pain and worry beyond words and measures. That being said, blogging will be kept to a minimum for the time being, as it is necessary to re-channel my time and emotions for the moment into other pressing issues.

A Thanksgiving message for all is to truly appreciate what you have in life, taking nothing for granted, as it can change in an instant, so quickly before one's very eyes, altering everything, everyone and any thing, including us.

May your Thanksgiving be a time of happiness, light, strength, peace and tranquility.

Thank you for your minds.

Iran: Is it 1938 All Over Again?

EDITED:

Nobody wants to talk about Iran. The mere idea of this country, currently led by a President who articulates radical Islamic Fundamentalism makes most people uncomfortable. Couple that with the development of nuclear weaponry, and more often than not, individuals will turn their backs, change the subject, or simply want to run away at once. But if the truth be told, Iran poses a great risk to the world today, not just to Israel, but to America, and Europe as well.

Over these past few days, I have had the priviledge of attending the General Assembly of the Jewish Federation. Included in the glorious experience of being among more than 4,000 people, and meeting some new friends, I also had the opportunity to attend some interesting symposium on a wide range of subjects. Of those topics most interesting, the one on most people's minds was the subject of Iran, and the impact that the development of necular weapons will have on us here in America as well as Israel.

While attending these seminars, I learned that Mr. Ahmadinejad, whose desires to wipe Israel off the map are quite real, and his threats are not to be taken lightly. Like Hitler, when he was coming to power in 1938, we knew, to some extent, his hatred towards Jews, although no one had a clear vision of his horrific plans and desires. While attending these symposium, it was also learned that one must not forget that Ahmadinejad's hatred also extends to the west, particularly America, and his aims and desires towards elimination may hit closer to home than one thinks or wishes to believe. Actually, when I was listening to the speakers, some fear began to descend upon me like a dark cloud, not only for Israel, but for America as well.

How and to what extent does this hatred of Iran towards Israel and the west mirror and/or differ from that of the Nazis during 1938 when Hitler came to power? Hitler's plan towards extermination began to develop in 1938, and continued to in purpose and determination over the years. As many of us know, the Nazis, who fled recriminations, enjoyed the 'good life' many of them ending up escaping in the glories and borders of Argentina and Brazil, some enjoying a life of luxery until they were ultimately caught. This new breed of hatred, however, has an unfamiliar and strange look wherein many have no love of life, but actually look forward to death, blowing themselves up, which is viewed as an act of courage and results in reward. ( the acquisition of72 virgins in the after-life, being one example.) How can one be prepared to deal with such individuals, and what, if anything are our options in a world where the international community does not take Iran so seriously, or feels as if their threat is not imminent? How do we defend ourselves against a society who has resources, such as oil, and a blatant disregard for human life?

Going to this conference was uplifting, invigorating and stimulating, on the one hand, but generated some fear in me as both a Jew and an American, on the other hand. In some ways, it feels as if it is 1938 all over again....We know who our enemy is, but to a large extent, lack the capacity and/or interest to protect ourselves against them. Since there are more than 40 million people, what do we do so that history does not repeat itself, in a more dramatic way than ever? The development and potential use of nuclear weapons by Iran is real, and something we as a nation must address today, this very moment, and not let pass, forget about or underestimate for the future.

Do we roll up our sleeves, take action, write letters, make our voices heard, or simply sit back and wait for the worst to happen? Is it or can it be 1938 all over once again?

Thank you for your minds.

Gay Parade In Jerusalem

Over the past several days, lots of controversial has surfaced surrounding a gay parade that is to take place this coming Friday in Jerusalem, Israel. There are two opposite factions, one representing the Haridim (the ultra-religious Jews) and those who claim that Israel is a democracy and therefore individuals should have the right to freedom of speech.

It is a issue where emotions run high, and consequently, several acts of violence have taken place, including trash cans being set on fire, stones hurled at police, and 15 religious Jews arrested today alone in what is certainly a highly charged issue. The police chief in Israel, was compared to a Nazi for allowing this parade to happen. For more on this story, see the following:

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378324335&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

As a Jew, it pains me deeply to see my own people fighting one another, risking their own lives, and causing violence towards one's own people. That being said, a case can also be made for perhaps holding the parade in Tel Aviv, a city that might be more compromising and welcoming.

This debate will continue and here are some of the questions: Do you think that the gay parade should be held in Jerusalem? Are acts of violence, putting human life and property at peril an appropriate response to displeasure towards this parade? Is it fair to compare Jews, from being religious v. Secular, or are there many gray areas in between? Is it not enough that Israel is surrounded by 22 countries, where people hate them, that acts of hatred and violence have to be perpetrated among our own people? Is there a solution here?

Thank you for your minds.

Borat: Sasha Baron Cohen & A Real Look At Life From His Own Eyes

Last year, Sahsa Baron Cohen was completely unknown to me. After all, his claim to fame came in the form of a show called, Da Ali G where he portrayed 3 characters, which are his alter egos: A UK journalist Ali G, a skick Kazakhistant correspondent called Borat and an Austrial gay fashionista named Bruno.

When my son first showed me the videos of this man, I was somewhat shocked. After all, here is a practicing Jew making fun of his own people. His humor is sick, and maybe even reckless, but he makes his points dramatically. The more I watched his comedy, the easier it was to see that Cohen was actually a genius, especially in exposing racism, anti-Semitism and bigotry in today's world. He has a new film coming out this Friday, called Borat. Here is a review of it from The Jerusalem Post: http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1161811251314&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Personally, I adore Borat, and cannot wait to see his movie this Sunday. Kudos to Cohen for taking on what may otherwise be a sensitive subject in such a unique, brilliant manner.

Today is November 1st and all is well. I am grateful for all life's blessings today.

Thank you for your minds.