The Art of Sensuality

Being able to connect with one's sensual side, and receive the most benefits from them is a true gift. Sensuality, of course, within its true meaning, is anything that appeals to the senses. Although a person, place or object may be sensual, it does not necessarily make it sexual, and the two are often quite separate and distinct.

Since I am a word person, the use of language, and the combination of phrases, standing alone is a very sensual exprience for me. Similarly, I find touching the Torah to be a sensual act, and its very essence gives me goose bumps. Additionally, I find watching an ice cube melt on skin, hearing Gustav Mahler,s Das Lied von de Erde (when I hear this piece I quiver), watching wind blow at leaves, and seeing a person smile to be sensual acts. Of course, my list could, and does, for that matter go on and on, but to list everything that appeals to my senses would be time consuming and probably uninteresting.

Here is the question of the day: What are some extraordinary (or ordinary) things that you find to be sensual and why?

Thank you for your minds.

Taking a Step in the Right Direction

Women on the verge of Thinking has spent the entire day today in reflective thought. Actually, if the truth be known, I have been up since 3am, so it is almost more than 15 full hours spent thinking. What a burden, and an exhausting effort, one might conclude, but to me, the thoughts that have surfaced from today, and my writing them down on paper, have brought forward some good resolutions about life and its meaning, and about God and what He means to me.

It has truly been the case that during these last several months, many challenges and difficulties have taken place for me. It might be safe to say, that many still continue, whether I want them to occur or not. This is how life works, and its mysteries continue to unfold and uncover themselves in so many unique and unknown ways. Now is the time, however, to take a step forward, in the right direction, putting these tragedies, misfortunes, and happen-stances in their proper perspective and giving them their proper place.

It is truly the case that life is in session. What this means, at least to me, is that the forces in the universe are at work, and stuff happens, with little reference to what, if any impact it will have on me or my life. Where I get into trouble, at least it seems, is when I want things to happen so that I can be comfortable! What a wonderful world it would be if this were the case, would it not? The world is my stage, I am the director, and everyone acts according to my plans? All turns out exactly as I desire, and, volia there is peace of mind and stillness of the heart. As we all know, however, life does not truly happen this way. How often do we believe that if we just did something a certain way, our efforts would be rewarded, and we would obtain the results we want. If only the universe responds the way we desire, we are comfortable, and consequently are happy.

Which brings me to an epiphany from today: Although I say that I believe in God, do I really trust God? What this means for me, it seems, is do I really let go, believing that all will happen according to His will, or do I hold on tightly to the reigns, being content only when His will happens to echo mine in some fashion? How often do I really trust God completely? Can I accept when something does not turn out the way I want it to be?

Today, while taking my daily walk, I realized that I have not heard the beautiful sounds of the birds chirping nor have I been aware of the intoxicating scents emanating from the gorgeous night blooming jasmine plants. It had been awhile since I heard the voices of my family, my friends, truly being present for them and listening, not hearing what they had to say. Taking a step in the right direction, for me, means beginning to get out of the self, to realize that all action and reaction is not simply about me feeling comfortable or being content.

Thank you for your minds.

Living With Unresolved Issues

"Some problems are just too complicated for rational, logical solutions. They admit of insights, not answers. " Jerome Wiesner

"Fear builds walls to bar the light."
Baal Shem Tov

What Takes You Out of Yourself?

At times, it can be said, that one of our best friends, and worse enemies lies between our own very ears: our brain, which can think us, at some time or another into a state of chaos, turmoil, or alternatively bliss and happiness.

So the question becomes, if we stay too much within ourselves, what, if anything can take us outside of ourselves? For some, the activities are more cerebral, and may include music, art, painting, poetry, writing, playing with a beloved pet or the mere sights and sounds of one's own environment, during a quiet, contemplative walk. For others, the activities may be more physical in nature, and include sex, exercise, gardening, twelve step work, doing something or saying words that are meant to benefit another, just for the sheer joy of seeing that person smile. The reward is within the other person, not within ourselves.

As Memorial Day descends upon us this weekend, many of us will be thinking about those soldiers who have served in various wars, the meaning of their commitment, and the memories of their deeds. We may honor them in so many different ways, by words, deeds, thoughts, or actions, in some way or another. My heart of course goes out to all of the families who have suffered casualties or losses as a result of war, or hatred, a plight that exists for some, but without meaningful resolution.

Here is the question of the weekend: What takes you out of yourself and why?

Have a good Shabbos and a truly enlightening weekend, and if you can enter the realm and resulting tranquility of stepping outside of yourself, even if for a single moment, or sliver of time.

Thank you for your minds.

A Day In the Life of Barbara From California

A special element of blogging that I aodre, is that through my words, I am able to reach out and touch someone, and by reading your reponses, you are able to do the same for me, and many others who come visit this blog.

Today, I thought it would be enlightening to share a typical day in the life of Barbara From Califonria. The reputation I have garnished from people who know me, and who come into contact here in blogsville, is that I am one serious woman...A deep, penetrating thinker, someone whose thoughts go from heavy to heavier. Moreover, I am a woman who loves to think!

For the moment, I can honestly say that I find great peace of mind in stability and having a daily routine. Once upon a time, the tedium of daily living was just too boring for me, and I loved to create hurricanes, and if the truth be told, be directly in the eye of the storm. Today, I strive for calmness, peace of mind, and tranquility in my daily life. My thinking may be provocative, and lean towards the dramatic, or as my friend winterwheat says, I am definitely one of those die in the wool pot-stirrers.

So here is a daily look into my life...I wake up at 5:oo am (sometimes even 4:30 am), as I love the early morning. Before I get out of bed, I pray, ask God for a good day, and look where my own actions can best be served. I rise, dress in my work-out gear, eat breakfast, check my emails, and begin my daily exercise routine, which consists of 20 minutes on the tred-mill each morning (while I am being informed of the daily news and weather on the television), and after being all worked up into a sweat, I go for a 30 minute walk every day. When I come home, I shower dress and drive to work, which takes about one hour and a half in the busy Los Angeles rush hour traffic.

At work, I arrive, read all the reports distributed by the court, and prepare my cases accordingly. I absolutely love my new job and the court where I am working now, and as an extra bonus, there are some very nice people there as well. Sometimes, I leave by noon, other days, not until 4:30 pm or 5pm, but one must always factor the inevitable element of waiting into a court day.

When I come home, more time on the tred-mill, and if I have a chance I read or get some of my writing done. Of course, there is the daily paperwork, and never-ending phone calls to be made, and as you all know, I make time for my blog and to read yours as well. Then, it is off to make dinner, an evening walk, and if I am able, I watch a good murder/crime show, which inevitably puts me to sleep.

Of course there are other activities that filter through my day, including intimate moments with my husband, listening to music, talking on the telephone with my children, friends and relatives, and lately, there has been the never-ending worry that seems to have taken hold of my soul in light of all of the sorrows that have occurred over the past 6 months. I keep saying, this too shall pass. When I go to bed, I pray again, and usually fall asleep, not knowing how the crime show I am watching ends. As many of you know, I am a voracious reader, and it is not uncommon for me to read 7 or more books in a month, depending upon what is going on, and what I read.

In the next few months, I am looking forward to going to a weekend music festival with my husband, and of course, we are counting the days until our trip to Israel.

Fairly run of the mill, no?

On a special note, I am truly grateful for all the wonderful friends who are a part of my life. Many of you have been my rock, a great source of support during these past few months, and your good deeds shall not ever be forgotten. On a special note, I received a beautiful gift today, well, if the truth be told, it is a gorgeous metal with stone mezzuzah from a delightful woman whom I met on a make-up site. She and I have developed a wonderful friendship, through our love of fragrances, dogs, cosmetics, shopping and raw human emotions. I am humbled, truly.

So share with me, what, if anything in your day, makes it special, unique or just plain ordinary.
(which can be extraordinary, as it so turns out)

Thank you for your minds.

Are We in an Era reminiscent of the 1930s Once Again?What Do We Do About Iran?

EDITED:

It is well known, especially here in the blogging world, that I love to discuss politics. In fact, if the truth be told, this subject, like the rights of the mentally ill, is one which I am very passionate about.

The other day, my son sent me an article that I found quite alarming. Basically, it told of how the Iranian government was going to implement a plan to distinguish Muslims from others within their country, namely Jews and Christians. The idea was to have all of its citizens wear patches so that their religion could be disclosed publicly. The article discusses an attempt to distinguish Muslim citizens in Iran, from Jews and Christians by the display of badges.

To me, these antics are reminiscent of those that were employed by Hitler during the Holocaust, where Jews where identified by their Stars of David that was displayed on their outer clothing. As we came to know, it was a potential death sentence.

As it turns out, this story turned out to be false. Nevertheless, the mere fact that such possibilities are considered to be believable is in part a reflection of the disturbing state of affairs of the religious minority groups that now exist inside Iran.

When the President of Iran says that he plans to eliminate the State of Israel, and would like to wipe it from the map, I take him seriously. I also take him seriously when he says he is developing nuclear weapons, and will not comply with inspections as set forth by the U.N. I do not need to wait 5 or 6 years, for innocent lives to be shattered for his credibility to meet any particular test. I believe him, and it is indeed frightening.

What do we do about Iran? I have asked this question before, and I ask it again, in view of the fact that the stance and reaction to the development of necular weapons is building, and becoming a reality for us here in the United States.

Unfortunately until Iran strikes out at Russia or China, it is going to be difficult to obtain an effective, united opposition on what goes on with that country. It seems as if the UN Human Rights Charter could be invoked to punish any human rights abuses that might occur, however, once again, these are political decisions and there is a great divergence of interests among the players from the Security Council.

As far as the General Assembly goes, it is pretty much dominated by small countries, which see the United States (and Israel) as the enemy, not the friend, and we these countries are most likely sympathetic with Iran's apparent nuclear ambitions as well as their confrontational policies towards the West. We have not been the most diplomatic of countries, especially with Bush as President. Is it not the case that some fears from other nations, may in fact be justified given the attack that this country made on Iraq, and the billions of dollars in debt we are in, coupled with the thousands of lives lost in the process. Moreover, how do we factor in the demi-god, the oil that Iran has, and its power and ability to hold others hostage with it? Is the United States in a position now, to do anything, cry wolf, and expect to be heard given our attack on Iraq, and what has failed to happen there? Where, and how do we resolve this huge problem with Iran, so that we, the United States, and Israel have some security?

Thank you for your minds.

What Happens When Life is Getting Too Much In Your Way?

Not usually a negative person, but one who sees the glass half full rather than half empty, is grateful for the gifts in my life, believes in a God, I must confess that the personal and public happenings during this last year, have been enough to shake someone even as strong as myself.

Beginning with the illness of my daughter, the death of my father, the illness and sudden passing of my cousin (last week), the death of my dog, some physical problems that I have been experiencing which need to be addressed, the sudden, unexplained death of a client, whom I was working with closely, on Mother's Day, and the pain and suffering my aunt is experiencing, having to bury her daughter of 47 years, it is the case that this has been a deeply painful year for me. Yes, life is in session, but does there have to be so much personal pain and suffering? Be mindful, I am only referring to the events that have happened in my ownlife, and if coupled with all of the global hardships over the past year, from the antics and hostility of the President of Iran towards the Jews and the Americans, the genocide in Dafur, deaths from the hurricanes and earthquakes, it is enough to make someone stand up and ask some rather pointed questions.

Each one of us surely has his/her own moments of sorrow, of personal pain and suffering, and yes, to some extent, it is all so very relative, which is why when I begin to feel sorry for myself, I read all about the Holocaust and look at what so many people had to endure to stay alive, and how many senseless deaths came to pass. No explanation will ever be sufficient to justify this horror that occurred in our history.

So, is it fair for me to ask God to lighten the load, even just a bit? Do I turn to Him for comfort and support even though one sorrow keeps on building upon the next, with the passing of each and every day? Does fear replace faith at some point? Does the path get narrower as we get older?

To say that God does not give us more than we can handle provides little comfort to me, to be candid, as I would surely rather be a weaker person, and have less tragedy in my life.

Please do not think that I have nothing to be thankful for, as this is certainly not the case. My daughter is doing well today, my son comes to visit us (the night of 5/22), I now have a job I love, and we are looking forward to our trip to Israel in August.

Is it too much for me to ask for a bit of peace, even a small sliver just for a short while?

Thank you for your minds.

Jew Hatred: Are We, as Jews, In Any Way Responsible?

There was another post, which I will put back for another time, but for the moment there is something on my mind that I must write about for all in blogsville.

Jew hatred has been around for more than 2,000 years. In fact, ever since I can remember, in each and every story from the Torah, there is some moment in time when Jews are shunned, hated, and expelled from a country. Think about it: we have been expelled from every country, in the history of the world, with the exception of the United States and Israel. Still, today, in 2006, many in the world hate Jews, and it is abundantly clear from the disturbing messages from the current President of Iran, that if it were up to him, the State of Israel would be eliminated.

But has hatred among Jews, to any degree, been caused by our own definitions of Jewishness, whatever they may be? Often, I see religious Jews shunning non-religious ones, and vice-versa thereby creating an even bigger distance between a population of only 14 million world-wide. Similarly, I have had experiences in blogsville where other Jews, who would not discuss subjects in their 'real lives' go to great lengths to participate in forbidden behavior on-line under the veil of the internet. A case in point: I was visiting a blog that was full of four letter words, discussion about sex, heterosexual and homosexual, and when I posted these mitzvahs and commandments, I was told to stay away, never come back, and post on this person, supposedly another Jew's blog ever again. Are we, as Jews beginning to hate each other? Is this the image that the world is getting of us? I will say, that I had a person send me a comment, that I did not post, who made this very statement, wondering why we treat one another with such adversity.

As far as I know, and please correct me if I am wrong, the Torah says that the life of any Jew must be sacred. There are no distinctions between those who are more religious than others, or less so. A Jewish life, standing alone, is valuable, and must be saved and respected.

With the rise of anti-Semetism in the world, I think that we, as Jews, have a responsibility to keep our images and behaviors up to par. We have enough people in the world hating us, is it necessary for us to create situations where we begin to mock, hate and criticize one another? Do we, in any way by presentation of images, even here in blogsville, do ourselves any favors when we call ourselves Jews, for all the world to see?

Thank you for your minds.

Schizophrenia Awareness Week (May 21-27, 2006)

Many of you know that I am a passionate advocate for raising awareness about mental illness. The entire month of May is mental illness month, and the week of May 21-27 is Schizophrenia Awareness Week. For some, the mere mention of the word, schizophrenia, makes people coil, like a hot flame, and they want to turn their heads or avert their eyes. But as you will see below, this particular mental illness is not what many think or believe it to be.

Schizophrenia Awareness Week helps to raise public consciousness about schizophrenia, and eliminate stigma regarding schizophrenia and related disorders. The intent is to honor a man whose efforts were based on the belief that even persons with mental illness deserve dignity and the right to appropriate treatment. For many, it is the beginning of humane treatment for people with mental illness. Nevertheless, many inflicted with schizophrenia and related mental illnesses, including bi-polar disorders, major depression, obsessive compulsive disorder remain confined by societal misperceive, fear and ignorance.
Schizophrenia, like many serious mental illnesses, is a bio-chemical and physical abnormality in the brain, and it affects more than 2.5 million Americans, or l percent of the world's population. Schizophrenia is not multiple or split personalities, does not mean that a person is necessarily violent, nor is it caused by poor parenting.
referring to those who suffer from mental illness, or anyone, for that fact as crazy, nuts, luny, is cruel, and frankly has no clinical significance whatsoever. These labels stigmatize and their families who genuinely suffer from this illness. Consider schizophrenia like cancer of the brain. Would making fun of someone with any time of cancer be appropriate? Nevertheless, those who suffer from mental illness are targets of cruel labels and misconceptions of the illness on a daily basis.

Additionally, for those interested, this Sunday, May 21st., Mike Wallace will apear on 60 minutes and discuss his long-term battle with serious depression, how it manifested itself, and his treatment. A program not to be missed.

Please help me in raising awareness of those afflicted with mental illness during the month of May, mental health awareness month. Please visit www.NSFoundation.org or www.nami.org for more information on the definitions of mental illness and how they are treated today.

Thank you for your minds.

To Honor Thy Mother and Father

The thoughts from this post come from some words with a dear woman, whom I met in blogsville. She has become a true friend, and we have spoken on the phone and continue to email one another on a regular basis. I am truly grateful for her presence in my life.

Since Mother's Day has just passed, and Father's Day is looming in the near horizons, it is often the case that many of us feel obligated by duty rather than by emotion to acknowledge our parents on these days, and all days, for that matter. It is the case that many of us, myself included, have conflicting relationships with our mothers and fathers. Some are based on difficult personalities, or forms of verbal or even physical abuse. In my line of work, I have seen many children who have become the victims of sexual abuse at the hands of their parents as well.

We are commanded, the Torah tells us "to honor thy mother and father." What does it mean to demonstrate the commandment of honor? Is it the same as love? How is it possible for someone to honor someone who has been abusive or cruel to them? What about those situations where an individual does not like his mother or father? Are we still compelled to honor them, and if so, for whom?

This post may hit some nerves, or push some buttons, I realize, but it was a very interesting topic that my dear friend brought up, when she drew this distinction between honoring and loving one's parents.

Now, I must prepare for trial.

Thank you for your minds.

Where Would You Take Your Dream Vacation?

When the children were smaller, and when they would go to camp during the summer, we traveled quite a bit, as a family, and a couple of trips on our own. We went all over the United States, together as a family, seeing and experiencing such places as Washington, D.C., New York, Oregon, Florida, and the entire west coast, and the Carolinas and Georgia. We even had the opportunity to go to Niagara Falls, Toronto and Montreal. We also went to Cancun, Mexico one time. My husband and I went alone several years ago to France, and drove all around the country until we ended up in Spain. I also have been to Prague, Vienna, Germany and Budapest as well. Traveling is a wonder, and there are so many exciting activities going on all around the world, that each new place has its own meaning of excitement.

My dream, however, has been to go to Israel. It looks as if, God willing, my husband and I will go this coming August. We have planned the trip, and are ready to book it this week. Jerusalem is a place that I must visit before my life comes to an end. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in Israel, a state filled with so many of my own people, with such rich culture and heritage as well. I have longed for the opportunity to go there for so many years now.

Here is the question of the day: Where are you longing to travel to and why? What would make this trip so special for you?

Thank you for your minds.

For My Cousin Amy (1959-2006)

Many of you know that I lost my cousin Amy Saturday night to pancreatic cancer. She and I were more like sisters than cousins, and her passing leaves a very deep hole inside of my heart.

As I lit a yartzite candle for her tonight, I thought about our lives together as cousins. Since she lived in Miami, and I lived in California, we did not see each other as children. We did, however, develop an instant connection over the telephone, and this built up into a wonderful and loving relationship during adulthood.

I can remember Amy coming to Los Angeles to live, and she stayed with me for a short time. We opened our hearts, minds and souls to one another, and we would laugh, cry, dream and chuckle whenever we were together. I can still see her in her pale yellow dress, as a bride's maid in my wedding so many years ago. She had the most intoxicating smile, it was contagious, and her positive attitude and loving heart were instruments of her being that she passed along to all who met her.

We shared so much in common, it was erie. Our mutual love for our dogs, our lipstick, our private jokes and excitement about living. We told each other our deepest, darkest secrets, no matter how horrible they might be, and not ever did she judge me nor I judge her. We were both just 'cuzzy.'

It was such a blessing that I went to see her in March, when I knew that this horrible illness was beginning to ravage her, chipping away at her little by little. Nevertheless, Amy continued to remain hopeful, positive, and most of all loving to all those surrounding her. No matter what was going on in her life, she took the time to include whoever was besides her in her life, giving them her full and undivided attention, along with her message of hope and joy.

Tonight, I am feeling a little bit sad, knowing that Amy is gone, that we will not meet face to face again. I am crying for her, since I will not hear her voice, nor her laughter again, but all of her, each and every inch, will forever be engraved inside of my heart.

As always, when we parted, we said these words: I love you, cuzzy. . . .

Thank you for your minds.

All About Our Mothers

EDITED:

Many readers of this blog may know that its title, Women on the verge of Thinking, comes directly from an amazing movie by the ever so colorful and creative movie-maker, Pedro Almadovar, whose movie, Women on the verge of a Nervous Breakdown, being provocative and spell-binding, catapulted its creator into the public eye in a flash of a second. Almadovar also wrote a movie titled, All About My Mother, whose central character was a woman who was coming to terms with her own live in many ways.

As Mother's Day dawns upon us today, I began thinking about mothers, who they are, what they do, and why they are acknowledged. It is truly the case that having a good mother is a great blessing in so many ways. Mothers come in so many different shapes, sizes and dimensions, and exhibit characteristics from unconditional love, sacrifice, devotion, inspiration and dedication. There are, other types of mothers, many of whom I come in contact with each and every day in the workplace who are physically and emotionally abusive towards their children. Sometimes it is because they do not know any better, or have emotional issues of their own to deal with, resulting in unpleasant behavior towards their children. Then there are those mothers who have the best of all possible intentions, but push their children, towards success, with the ultimate goal of making themselves and their families look good. No matter what, each and every one of our mothers does the very best she can with the tools that she has.

Regardless of what type of mother one has, I can tell you from my own experience that motherhood is the most difficult job I have ever had to do. There are no real instruction books, no on the job training, no manuals for unforeseen circumstances that may surface and leave those of us with the best of all possible minds clueless as to what to say or do. Nevertheless, we all try to do our best, to be the best that we can, under our own circumstances.

As I write this post, I am thinking about my aunt as a mother, watching her daughter, my cousin, enter the final days of her life as she battles with cancer. Watching over an ill child is truly the very worst of all possible pains that can exist. I think about my aunt, her sacrifices, her fears, and her dread as this Mother's Day comes, and what it may or may not mean for her. There are those mothers, who no matter what happens, are always there for their children, through each and every step and stumble.

Being a good mother and having one is indeed a great blessing, something to cherish, hold and admire for all the days of our lives.

I have just found out that my beloved cousin passed away this evening, (5/13/06 at 10:45 PM EST.) May her mother. father and brothers be comforted among all the mourners of Zion.

It is the case that we are deeply saddened by the passing of my beloved cousin, which has been expected for some time now. Nevertheless, it is Mother's Day, and a good time to be reminded of what it means to have and/or be a good mother.

Happy Mother's Day to you all.

Thank you for your minds.

Having a "Wake-Up" Call

This busy work schedule has given me very little time to blog these days. I miss writing, and reading all of your own thoughts, but my job has turned full time, and leave little time for anything else these days. Nevertheless, I am happy, appreciate the work I have and feel good for today. I promise to get around to reading more blogs this weekend.

Many people have experienced something in life which propels them to action (or maybe in-action, as the case may be.) Often, it can be something quite personal, effecting one's health, welfare or emotions. Usually these events make us pause, take stock, and call us to make some type of change in our own lives. It is like hearing the sound of the shofar for Jews, this piercing, penetrating and beautiful sound that wakes us up! Often, it may involve getting rid of something or someone, and examples, can range from substance abuse, alcohol, sex addiction, health scares, threats of financial insecurity, illness, and the list goes on and on. What usually results is that these events make us look and evaluate our own lives from a different perspective. We conclude that we must make changes, something must be given up, or something else must be sought, and we look around us at what we have, rather than what we do not, and we become grateful for all of life's blessings instead of feeling as if our lives are empty and barren.

I have had various wake up calls in my life. Most recently,there have been a couple personal issues regarding people, and one having to do with my own health. Additionally, the illness of my daughter daughter last year woke me up in a very big way. Prior to that, I took good health for granted, not ever feeling as if anything bad could happen to any of my children. Now, I truly look at each good day as a great gift, cherish it, and make every effort to live it fully, thanking God for all the good that I have in my life. In a similar light, when I think that all is going terribly for me, I remember what it means to lose something. I look around me at those who died during the Holocaust, and admire the strength and tenacity of those who were able to survive these horrors, and feel, that by comparison, nothing in my life can ever be so horrible or so bad. Gratitude can be relative, and at the same time so individual, depending upon our state of mind.

Here is the question for the day: What has been a wake-up call for you during your life? How has it propelled you to action, to better your life and be of service to others?

Thank you for your minds.

What Comforts You?

These past couple of weeks have been quite stressful. Too much work, not enough time, issues at home, with friends, with family, the list goes on and on. Some issues have resolved, while others have evolved. There are moments of quiet inside of my head, and other times, the wheels keep on spinning and spinning until I am worn out. Working outside of my home, and continuing with my other work, has left me stretched for time these days.That being said, I am a person who tries to see the glass half full rather than half empty. When feeling as if I need a boast, or some type of uplifting message, with meaning, we all turn to something for comfort. In fact, I need comfort, not chaos and turmoil, and long for those still, precious moments that surface like round bubbles waiting to explode!

What is the meaning of comfort? One person's idea of comfort may be another person's misery. This idea of feeling at peace, serene and even joyful can be so illusive at times. Some of our comforts can be in the form of compulsions or addictions: food, alcohol, gambling, internet pornography, tobacco, shopping, etc. Others may turn within for comfort, and find it in prayer, meditation, quiet time, or God. Other comforts may be of the intangible variety such as music, gardening, running, exercising, sex, reading, quilting, cooking, etc.

For me, comforts vary with my moods. Among those things I find to be comforting include long walks, listening to symphonies, reading, and believe it or not, a good discussion or debate. This later form of discuss seems to really stimulate the cells in my brain and body, and puts me in high gear.

Here is the question of the day: What comforts you and why?

Thank you for your mind.

Happy Birthday to My Dear Son

Today, May 7th, is my son's 23rd birthday. When he was born, it was the day before mother's day, and I considered him to be a true and wonderful gift. As a music lover, I was thrilled to know that he shares a birthday with the composers Brahms and Tchaikovsky.

Our son continues to bring sweet music into our lives each and every day.

Happy Birthday to you, dear son!

Thank you for your minds.

The Art of Letting Go

Woman on the Verge of Thinking has been extremely busy this entire week. Such activities have included an entangled work week, involving complicated cases and trials. As one day begins to blend into another, there has been little time to read, write, blog, listen to music, or engage in other enjoyable activities. A full time job, with a lengthy commute can be taxing. Couple that with doctors visits, family functions, and meetings with friends, and the days seem to blend together, and before one knows it, the week has soon come and gone.

This week has also been rather difficult for me emotionally. I had to let go of a long-term relationship, a friendship, which at one time brought much joy and happiness into my life, but sadly has turned sour over the past several months. People can be like plants, in odd ways, and if a relationship is not watered or nurtured, it too can suffer from thirst, its leaves can turn from a bright green to a muted brown, and, like the colorless leaves on the once healthy plant, it too will eventually die.

Sometimes we must let go of people, places and things, even though we still care about them, or harbor good memories, if it turns out that they will provide an unhealthy or toxic element inside of our own lives. Staying free of such compulsions is not easy, and often, the pain of walking away can be very sharp, and pierce a deep wound open inside of one's own heart. Letting go involves surrendering, for our own good, and ultimate peace of mind. Often, we must let go as well to honor and respect the needs of the other person, even if their goals are quite different from our own.

Today, in the middle of all the business involved in my life, I too am trying to walk through the pain of letting go of a friendship that was not healthy for me. This does not mean that I do not feel sad, and I truly miss this person, but sometimes we have to let go to grow, even with the pain and hurt, so we can get to the other side of the rainbow, with the hope that there is still light inside.

Thank you for your minds.

Does God Test Us Or Are We Learning and Growing?

Often, when some of us are faced with a challenging situation, decision, or undertaking, and it we can go one of several ways, one can find herself/himself asking, whether God is testing us.
For example,, a person can be presented with a situation, and chose to act upon it based upon personal desire, which might in fact lead to a self-destructive end. Other times, we may find ourselves not knowing whether to do something we are taught is just and right, and turning away from a situation, because we feel it does not suit or own personal needs. Our choices, to a large extent are based upon our vision and interpretation of ourselves, which may include a low self-esteem, or contrarily one where we feel that we are so large, other ways, ideas and perspectives have no merit inside our own particular universe. An individual may have inside his/her mind, the idea that I engage in some self-destructive conduct because I do not believe I deserve love. Or conversely, the world should operate the way I think, and failure to do so will result in self-destructive actions.

Letting go of something may be necessary for our own personal and spiritual growth, whether we agree with the consequences or not. Staying stuck inside of an immovable situation can cause personal pain, suffering and result in feelings of lack of self-worth.

Here is the question of the day? Do you believe that God tests us? Do we test ourselves in order to learn certain lessons in order to grow and mushroom into a better person? Ultimately, does it matter what the source of the insight is so long as we can become a better more loving person?

Thank you for your minds.