Letting Go of People, Places and Things

When this blog was started in April 2005, I was at a very different place in my life. For one, the luxury of working part time, and out of my home, was available to me. Both of my children were in college, and it felt as if a new stage of life was beginning to unfold. Consequently, I had the freedom to write, the time to think and the ability to share and visit many of your blogs as well.

Today, life as I know it is no longer the same. For one, I am working a full time job, which gives me little time to think, and I am taking care of an ill child, which is both stressful and demanding. In addition, my interests and focuses have also spirited and left little time to write.

What has blogging done for me over these past almost two years? For one, it has allowed me to express myself, uncensored for the most part in a non-threatening public forum. Blogging gave me the opportunity to connect with more Jews, and as a result, I myself have become more observant as well. Just the other day, I placed muzzuzahs over each door in my home, and today, a kind soul from blogsville, (who did not know what I had done) felt I needed a new one and sent me a beautiful piece of Jerusalem stone with a proper scroll. How great is that!Moreover, I have been able to meet many people, some very kind and wonderful, and others, well, let us say not so much so.

There are times in our lives when we must let go of people, places and things. Letting go is not always so bad, but it can mean moving on so that we can grow, change, and impact the lives of others in many different ways as well. This year, I have had to let go of so much, hopes, dreams, people, things, and as a result, I am experiencing this wonderful journey called life.

Therefore, it is with great remorse (and perhaps some pleasure) that I will give up posting on Women on the Verge of Thinking. As someone who lives one day at a time, and knows that nothing is forever, let my declaration be within that context as well.

Let me thank everyone for reading, writing, expressing him/herself and being a part of my life for the past couple of years.

And most of all....

Thank you for your minds.

Cultivating Laughter

EDITED:

Often, when we become so consumed by a problem, or a serious issue, many of us, myself included, forget to include humor and/or laughter in our lives. I can say unequivocally, that I am guilty of this character defect, and often when the tough gets going, I become very serious. It is strange, actually, because I love to laugh, and although my personal sense of humor may be considered dark, and a bit off color for many people, it is still a large part of who I am.

I have had the priveledge to meet a reader of two of this blog. One woman bought me this pair of Billy Bob teeth which had the appearance of being corroded and stained, and I used to put them on when others would least expect it and smile! Others would respond by rolling in the isles with laughter.

It is important to keep one's sense of humor, no matter what is going on around us, for our own sakes especially. Laughter, as the saying goes, can be very good medicine.

In fact the other day, when I was feeling rather sad, I went to read the spam email that is sent to me. There must have been at least 100 of them, advertising how a man could enlarge his penis. One started at 2 inches, and they continued ending at 9! I was laughing so loud at that thought that it made me forget about the sadness of the day.

Let us all think of the 3 ls: life in the moment, love, and laugh!

How has/does laughter affect your life.? If you can, tell me something that would make me laugh for today!

Thank you for your minds.

Should The Palestinians Be Permitted to Have Their Own State?

United States (U.S) Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will convene a trilateral summit in Jerusalem tomorrow, Feb.19th, with Israel's Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian Authority (P.A.) President Mahmoud Abbas (Abu Mazen).
This will be the third time Olmert and Abbas have met in recent months. The meeting comes 11 days after Fatah and Hamas signed the Mecca Agreement, which details the formation of a Palestinian unity government, following weeks of bloody Palestinian infighting in Gaza that left scores dead, hundreds wounded and caused millions of dollars in damage to infrastructure.
Talks between Israel and the Palestinians broke down after Hamas took power in January 2006.

As Secretary Rice is now acting as a negotiator between representatives of the State of Israel and the Palestinians, there is quite a bit of tension in the air in the Middle East at the present moment. There are many, both Jews and Arabs who desire to co-exist peacefully, which can be evidenced through one's eyes when in Jerusalem. Nevertheless, even as this sentence is written, the Palestinians are ruled by Hamas, a very radical party who still refuses to recognize the right of the State of Israel to exist.

All readers of this blog know that I have questions so many of the policies of Bush and his administration, from his decision to invade Iraq to the lack of response to Katrina and his failure to acknowledge same sex unions and be an advocate for stem cell research. But when it comes to the State of Israel, there is something about Bush's politics that, at least for this reader, rings true, which is that any Palestinian State must recognize Israel and make an attempt to live with Jews in a peaceful manner.

In the past, I always felt that a two state solution was the proper answer, i.e., one for Israel and one for the Palestinians, however, with the state of the current affairs in the world, I question whether this goal can in fact be accomplished for the best interests of both Jews and Arabs alike.

What does it mean to have Statehood, one may ask? For one, it allows a body to have an organized government, with laws and protections, and a military formation and response. How can it be that the ruling government of the Palestinians, Hamas, would be allowed to form its own state when it fundamentally refuses to recognize the right of Israel to exist? How would we feel if our neighbors refused to recognize us, and allied themselves with governments who concluded that we should be wiped off the map and had no right to exist? How could we be allowed to exists with such a neighbor, who starts out as an enemy instead of a friend? Additionally, what about Jerusalem and its future? Would allowing the Palestinians the right to have their own state be tantamount to turning over the Holy City to Iran or Hezbollah?

Here is the question of the week: Do you believe that the Palestinians should be permitted to have their own state in light of the current politics that exist in the Middle East? What, if any safeguards, do you believe should be put in place to protect the security and safety of Israel?

Thank you for your minds.

Love In a Time of Joy and Sadness

Each and every one of us desires, even craves love to some extent or another. There is something quite satisfying by being able to give of ourselves, freely, in a manner that brings joy to ourselves as well as to others. And of course, 'love without strings,' i.e. the expectation that we give freely without reference or expectation of receiving is the best type of love possible.

Frankly, I consider myself a warm, loving person, and like to light up a person's face by my words and/or deeds or best of all with a smile. It is such a magical illuminating experience to know that your presence has a positive impact on someone else. What a great, magnificant gift to oneself and to others.

There are times, however, that no matter how loving one can be, there is still a sense of sadness, loss or difficulty that touches our lives in some way or another, making us vulnerable in some way or another. Nevertheless, does this mean that we should stop loving, or living as we do?

As I have aged, I realize that love, like pain and suffering are a natural part of living. That being said, I do not think it is worthwhile spending time or spinning wheels to show love to someone who is not deserving of it. And there are many such people in this world, even those whom we have tried to show love, kindness and tenderness, but have felt as if our efforts have gone unrecognized. For me, what this means, more than anything else, is that we, as individuals, must learn to accept each person with his/her own limitations, without expectation. Whether we desire to continue to be a loving and giving person is entirely our own choice and decision.

What is my convoluted message here? That we should continue to be loving, kind and good human beings, to allow us to feel completed and whole in some way or another. Life goes on, sadness takes place, a sense of loss may occur, but to loose ourselves in an attempt to make someone else act in a certain way, or experience a particular result, is to short-change ourselves ultimately.

Thank you for your minds.

The State of Israel: Who Will Be There to Help Her? 500th Post

For my 500th post, I am going to write about a subject for which I have extreme passion and, if the truth be told, concern, now: the State of Israel. The situation there, at this moment, is somewhat troublesome to watch, but as usual, writing, I hope, will focus some of the questions and concerns.

Israel is in trouble now. One may look back on history and say that Jews have always been the targets of victims of enemies who did not want them to exist from the time of pharaoh, to the pogroms and concluding, but not necessarily ending, with their extermination by Hitler and Nazi Germany. It seems, to me, however, at least through these eyes, that the world, today, as it exists is a different place. For one, our numbers have diminished substantially, and there are so many more Muslims, even in Israel itself, who do not wish to recognize the State of Israel at all, leaving the Jewish people as a literal target of hate, and G-d forbid, destruction.

The trouble has been brewing, and we saw serious fighting last August when Hezbollah infiltrated the state from the north, and had weapons that penetrated the state, reaching the city of Haifa, a place most thought was free from terror. It is my guess that Hezbollah is 100 percent re-armed now, and with the help of Iran, does pose itself as a formidable concern and enemy to the state of Israel.

Today, it was announced that the new Palestinian Government will not recognize Israel. As we see Palestinians are divided into two groups now, the Hamas and Fatah, my fear is that Jews will also divide one day, into the religious and the less religious, and ultimately, begin a civil war against each other as well. We saw a bit of this drama play out during the gay parade in Jerusalem when Jews were fighting one another. Can we, whose numbers total less than 14 million worldwide, really afford to become an enemy unto ourselves?

Who, when the going gets rough will be there to help Israel in her time of need? Can the Jewish state rely on anyone really, if Iran rears its ugly head, or if Hezbollah begins to re-emerge, with the help of Syria and other Arab nations? Where does Israel stand today, if her own people cannot become united, but stay divided on the future of its own nation?

These are indeed some very worrisome times for Israel, and these are questions, which I believe, we must think about with seriously when thinking about the situation in Israel and the future of the Jewish State.

Thank you for your minds.

How Do We Handle An Illness? A New Kind of Normal

Since this is the 499th post for Women on the Verge of Thinking, I wanted it to deal with a subject that many people can relate to, in one form or another. Some of you have been faithful readers of this blog since its inception, perhaps reading diligently like a voyeur, rather than posting, but nevertheless showing a keen interest in its content. The blog is a reflection of my own life, and although it started with political rants about Bush and Iraq, it has morphed into subjects that are much more introspective, and often personal in character, but to be candid, these issues have mirrored my own life for the past couple of years. Truthfully, writing is a means by which I can express myself best, allow the inner workings of my body and mind turn to 'action figures,' (if you will) in the form of written expression.

What happens when you or someone you love, becomes ill, and receives a devastating diagnosis that will uproot your life and your family? How does one deal with this painful fact yet still allow himself/herself to grow, blossom and keep going? Surely, many of you can relate to this subject, having yourselves experienced illness, or seeing a loved one become ill, and watch your world crumble or your own life change in so many ways. What does one do?

For me, and many others with whom I have spoken, one learns to adjust to news of an illness eventually, perhaps even coming to the conclusion that we must learn to live with unresolved issues, as a friend of mine who is seriously ill has confided. Although we adjust, it will not be the same normal as we once knew, but a new kind of normal. Each and every individual's own unique circumstances delineate far more to this end to ever lead anyone to believe there is a defined length of time, or timetable for acceptance of these events to occur.

Accepting that one has an illness and cannot change this fact is a key to moving forward and not staying stuck on a never-ending roller coaster ride. Fear, of course can transpire and rear its ugly head in many forms including anxiety, panic, anger flight, fight freeze or feign. For me, I do my very best to replace faith with fear, and when finding myself becoming consumed by such self-sabotaging behavior, I remember that I am not in charge of how anything turns out ultimately. All I can do is my part, what I am told, the footwork, if you will, and let G-d handle the rest. Moreover, it is very helpful to know that everything changes, and that each and every day, the sun will rise and set, and we can begin all over again, and one learns to cherish each and every good thing in life no matter how large or small it may be.

Perhaps what keeps one going, in addition to hope and faith, is being surrounded by loving caring family and friends. Some of you I have even had the great pleasure to meet through this blog, a true gift.

One must not ever give up, never ever, and stay hopeful, and if one forgets to do so, remember that tomorrow is a new day, and there is that blooming possibility to begin the day anew and start all over again.

Thank you for your minds.

A Meditation on the Meaning of Loss: February 6, 2007

It is hard to believe that a year has passed since the loss of my beloved dog, Astro. Since he left me, on February 6, 2006, hardly a day has gone by without my thinking about him in some way or another. Although somewhat of a slug (near the end), he was such a wonderful companion, who brought me and my family such wonderful joy. He was always here for us, no matter what, and the meaning of unconditional love took on a different dimension. Pets, after all are so very different from people, and even if they are having a 'bad day,' they do not really let us know about it, and are here for us no matter what, which makes them so special, and their love so pure. To say that I still miss Astro, would be an understatement, and his loss has left a deep hole inside my heart.

What does it mean when we lose someone we love? The loss can be permanent, as in a death, or it can be a change in a relationship, or friendship, in one form or another, so that the person or being is no longer with us nor a part of our lives. One can also experience loss in another form, such as through an illness of a loved one or important person, where he/she is not the same anymore. How does one cope and deal with such changes in life?

It is my belief that the extent to which we feel the loss depends upon the kind of memory that the person or being has left behind for us to think about. If the person or being was kind, loving, giving, and his/her presence added to our lives in some formidable way, then his/her absence can sting, and feel like a needle piercing beneath one's skin. But, the memory of that person or being, all his/her good deeds and feelings that were left behind do not ever leave us, nor fade from our soul. The reverse can also be the case, that is to say, it the person or being was cruel, mean, bitter, or selfish, (although we fantasize otherwise), then his/her absence will not be as difficult, unless of course we are used to becoming entangled in unhealthy relationships of one kind or another.

And so, on this day, I say to Astro, the kind, gentle soul, that I still miss you very much. You have left a great imprint on our home and on our lives. Perhaps you may even know that now we have another puppy, who is named after you, by the name of Argon. Although the same breed, and I can see many similarities, at least on the outside, you are both so very different from each other in character and temperament, unique one of a kind dogs, although the thread that weaves you both together is your unconditional love for those who surround you.

Thank you for your minds.

Argon is Growing

Chasing the Moon

This morning, as I was preparing for the morning walk, I noticed that the sky was illuminated brightly, which gave me cause to believe that somewhere out there, a full moon was lighting up the sky. With each step, slivers of light penetrated the gray clouds, but it was still impossible to see the full moon with all its light. A realization hit me: I had been standing too still, stuck in the same place, which prevented me from seeing the full light. All of a sudden, I took steps forward, racing to find the full light. By daring to leap, I saw it, bright in all of its glory, a beautiful revelation.

Standing still, without movement or change, can, at times, keep us, too stuck inside dark places. It is only when we have the courage, and self-empowerment, that we can take those steps forward, that all us to chase and find the moon and all of its light.

Thank you for your minds.